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Time Value

October 25, 2011 in I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships with

Time is Money! We’ve all heard that expression. It is so true even though we don’t think about it that way very often. But time is a very real commodity that all of us get the same amount of and we have to use it wisely. So it is one of the factors that comes in to play when Shawna and I are making financial decisions.

I recently saw this movie trailer that got me thinking about my time as money.

So I decided to calculate my per hour earnings based on about how many hours I work on average per work day, and I used the past two years of my Quicken data to do this. I went through all our spending categories to drill down how much each is costing me in terms of time. Then I consolidated it all into the summary lists below (Alphabetical and Most to Least):

I left the Automobile category split into subcategories to show that number is still being significantly impacted by our latest family minivan purchase at the end of 2009. That van has also been the worst vehicle ever for repairs. I’m still betting by the time we’re done with this van I’ll still be winning The Used Car Gamble. I also wanted to point out that gasoline (category Auto: Fuel) is by far the most significant portion of our overall auto expense. We drive a lot. Can you imagine how much our auto expenses would be if we added car payments along with higher new car insurance and registration? Auto expense is one area of our finances we have been pretty smart about from the beginning of our marriage (unlike some other categories).

There are categories on here that are encouraging to see how they fall in the time-value. One of them is tithe. I already knew the dollar amounts and that it is 10% of gross etc etc. But seeing that it is also 10% of the amount of time I work is another way of affirming my obedience to God.

Another encouraging category is a special investment I was able to make as soon as we got debt free. I don’t have saving on here because the report I generated in Quicken is only for spending. If I had included saving it would probably be near the top of the “Most To Least” list and would reduce every other time value by about 10%. Yes – I have made saving a priority even while paying down debt.

That brings me to one of the most encouraging categories to see – debt repayment. I could look at it as a depressing thing that sucked my time for the past two years, but I’m actually psyched out of my mind to have almost 2hrs a day of my work going from debt repayment to more productive things. I’m gonna be out of control when I get my house paid off – hopefully in the next five years.

One last thing to note about these lists is Shawna’s income is not accounted for in here. She does work and make a little bit of money, but her full time job is homeschooling our kids. So while I don’t have Shawna’s income or savings in the equation I do have an investment that was made with the savings in there and I do have categories that are business expenses that should technically be taken out of personal expenses. The net result is this is a pretty good way for me to look at what my time pays for.

Dr. John Maxwell is a bestselling author on the subject of leadership. He did a word-of-the-day on time that puts this whole topic in perspective. Watch it here.

Practice What You Preach

October 11, 2011 in Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Stories with

Have you ever felt like you failed to take your own advice? That happens to me sometimes. My daughter, Skyler, is very energetic and she loves dance and gymnastics. At home she will often practice her cart-wheels, handstands, round-offs, round-house, upper-cut… The problem with that is there isn’t a lot of room for that kind of activity inside our house because there is either stuff or people to potentially break or hurt with flying arms and feet. So we’re constantly telling Skyler, “You probably shouldn’t do that in the house. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

Because I’m such a great dad I have practiced cart wheels and hand stands a little bit too (and everyone’s favorite acrobatic move I do is the cheerleader-style toe-touch, it’s fabulous). Of course where have I done this – in the house, exactly where we advise Skyler not to do the acrabatics. I’m normally pretty careful about choosing a safe area where no one is around and nothing is in the way, until a few days ago…

I don’t remember why Iwas in a goofy mood with about six excited children in the house that day, and I don’t know what I was thinking, but I decided to do a cart-wheel going in a different direction in the house than I had ever done it before. I had told Skyler many times not to do this. I had seen Skyler get hurt doing it. I had even seen Joe Sangl get hurt doing it (yes – he got excited at our house one time too and did a cart-wheel that didn’t end well – Skyler has such an influence on us to test our acrobatic inability). As I made the approach all of the red flags were flashing through my mind and in a split second I thought, “I shouldn’t be doing this” and “I got it, it’s ok”. Then…

WHACK!!

The bottom of my foot, at the inside part of my heel crashed onto the corner of our coffee table. Thank goodness I didn’t break anything, including my foot.. I rolled around on the floor in pain with my wife Shawna laughing at me the whole time, and then of course I got up quickly to act like everything was alright. I had made the same mistake I normally advise Skyler not to make. I wasn’t practicing what I had been preaching.

That can happen in lots of areas of our life if we’re not careful. In marriage it is important to live by the same expectations we have of our spouse. As parents it is important to set the example of what we expect our kids to follow. As leaders it is important to be living what we are teaching.

That is one of the most important things we teach financial coaches – to be living what we are teaching. It can be so easy to slack off and not be disciplined to stick to the plan or the budget. It can be so easy to put off reaching that next goal over and over again in order to do spontaneous and fun stuff whenever we want. In order to effectively teach others we have to be living what we are teaching.

When is the last time you slipped up and failed to practice what you preach? My heel still hurts :-)

My Thoughts on Catalyst Conference 2011

October 6, 2011 in Business, Leadership and Growth with

Unfortunately and quite sadly I am not attending Catalyst this year. Life has been crazy lately and I have family visiting from out of town, so it just made sense to skip the conference this time. However, that does not mean I haven’t been thinking about what I’m going to miss.

Since this post doesn’t closely relate to my normal subjects I should offer an explanation of what Catalyst Conference is and maybe a dictionary reference to the word catalyst for anyone who only thinks of the chemistry definition. As people/leaders a catalyst is a high energy status quo challenging game changing person or event. The conference is geared toward encouraging young leaders to be the next generation game changers.

The problem I see for true young catalysts though is not their willingness to question the status quo and try new things. The problem they face is older or more senior level leaders ahead of them being unwilling to listen and give new ideas a shot. I believe one of the reasons for this is young leaders aren’t proving themselves valuable enough to challenge the status quo.

Catalyst conference is geared toward church world, which I understand pretty thoroughly from being a pastors kid growing up in church and to this day very involved in my local church, but I tend to think of the principles taught as they would apply in business world as well. Based on my experience in corporate world I know first-hand what it is like to be considered the young punk full of crazy ideas nobody wants to try…until I’ve proven myself.

For any catalyst out there who wants their ideas to be heard here are a few suggestions for how to prove yourself that I’ve learned along the way.

Work harder than anyone else. Smarter? Yes, that too. But just because someone finds a way to be more productive personally doesn’t prove anything about their value to the team. Work smarter to be personally productive and use the spare time gained to go above and beyond. It certianly helps, no matter how efficient someone is, to show demonstrate a work ethic that starts earlier than anyone else and finishes later than anyone else. Even when we think no one is watching, someone is noticing.
Become the best within the status quo. Whatever the process is there is always a way to become the best at it. Anytime I’ve become great at something just the way it is I’ve had no problem getting support to do it differently because everyone trusts that if I’m already good at it the way it is then I’m not going to make a permanent change that would make me not as good at it.
Get Results! Do work that affects the bottom line either through increased sales or decreased cost, and prove it by measuring (this is the has-been wanna-be engineer in me coming out).

No matter what there is always the chance that people will despise change. The key to determining when to be a catalyst is balancing how valuable we are vs how replacable we are.

On another note, here’s what I’m going to miss most by missing Catalyst this year.

These speakers: (not because I don’t like some of the others, these are just the ones I know I like)

Jon Acuff
Dave Ramsey
Andy Stanley
Mark Driscoll
Michael Hyatt

The fun and funny stuff. There is non stop fun and humor between every speaker, and during the speaking too every now and then.
The free stuff. The event comes with lots of great resources and the sponsors are very generous, all making the experience a bit more excellent.
The learning and encouragement. I’ve never left a Catalyst sorry that I went. There is always something new or refreshing to take away and apply to my life.

I’m regretting I won’t be there now. This might need to be one of those things that gets on my calendar for next year NOW and becomes off limits to any other scheduling.

The New Call of Duty Game

October 5, 2011 in Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships with

This is too funny, so I have to share it…

John Crist is my newest favorite comedian because he does funny stuff about church, and that is hilarious to me because of my experience with lots of churches of many types throughout my life.

He recently hit on a subject that is so true in our current culture. Married men are increasingly the primary demographic for video games. Particularly, the game Call of Duty is very popular. We can be manly men in that game, blowing stuff up and taking names, and still be home for dinner. And I’ve heard some great reasons for games being a good form of entertainment:

It’s relatively cheap compared to other alternatives (such as paintball, and that isn’t very manly compared to blowing stuff up)
It’s something our sons enjoy and can do with us (and some daughters, the tom-boy ones probably)
It’s a good release, me time, man time. I’ve read that men who get to watch a manly movie every now and then, or play a manly game, are more likely to be passionate husbands (that’s a good thing).

The problem, as is true with anything in life, is getting off-balance. When the hobby becomes an obsession that consumes massive amounts of time and energy. Let’s face it. It isn’t cheap anymore if we’re forfeiting the opportunity to work a few more hours and increase our income. It isn’t something good to do with our kids if it is the only thing we do together and they barely know us outside the game. It isn’t a good release if we’re more consumed with playing another round every night than we are going to bed with our wife.

I love games too, and if I wanted to I could let it be the only thing my son and I do because he is very in to games. But I just can’t do that, and honestly I’m not THAT in to games to even want to do that. I recently heard a statistic about kids who game all the time are a lot more likely to have problems with a long list of stuff later in life. That’s reason enough for me to limit how much gaming happens in my house. Anyway… Check out this video - John makes humor about the next Call of Duty game that might not be popular but we need to love it more than any of the others.

Sick And Tired Of The Debt Debate

August 5, 2011 in Faith and Church, Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships with

Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the debt debate? I mean how hard is it to understand INCOME minus OUTGO has to equal EXACTLY ZERO and the outgo needs to include generous programs, long term foresight, and paying down the debt… Is it that difficult?

You might think I’m talking about the US National Debt Debate that has been plastered all over the media off and on really for many years. It’s always a heated debate. But that isn’t the only debate I’m talking about. I’m talking about the debt debate that happens in most everyone’s household at some point. Should we finance this or that? Can we afford it? How can we do x, y, & z and still keep our budget balanced? Are we going to have the discipline to stick to this budget? Oh no, we’ve gotten in too deep, now what do we do? I’m sick and tired of families struggling with these questions. It doesn’t have to be this way.

The fights happening in American households about money are just like Democrats and Republicans fighting about who’s fault it is and why one plan is better than the other for dealing with it. Round and round it goes and nothing gets done about it until it’s too late. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Call me crazy but I believe at some point the US debt ceiling is going to be as high as our country can withstand. My family has experienced a maxed out debt ceiling first hand – when we hit it we almost lost everything. Why don’t our representatives understand that concept? I know it’s more complicated on the grander scale but the principles are the same. Why isn’t our government applying simple financial principles and why aren’t more American families understanding these principles and applying them personally? IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!

Why isn’t government listening to the people’s concern for our country’s financial future? Why aren’t people reaching out for help with their personal finances? That question keeps me awake at night because I know so many people need help but don’t know how to get it or they aren’t willing to ask for it. My church offers FREE personal finance coaching and the I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. team has helped churches all over the country start coaching programs just like the one at my church. Contact me if you’re interested in connecting with a coach and I’ll do everything I can to help you do that. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, if we all start getting it right at home our government will find a way to get it right nationally. Until that happens I will remain sick and tired of the debt debate.

Part 4: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 4, 2011 in Faith and Church, Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships, My Parents 40th, Series, Stories with

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom. If you missed the first three parts you can read them here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

How did having kids affect things?

We wanted kids. We were so glad to have kids. It did change everything though. The biggest change was being involved in all the activities you kids participated in. But it also strengthened our marriage because there was a greater love than just the two of us. We HAD to work together just to keep up.

Would you do it all over again?

We would do it all over again but just do some things differently. There would be more emphasis on family and our marriage instead of so much emphasis on the church. Wish we had made better long range plans. Wish we had used vacation for fun instead of visiting family. We’ve been blessed and we’re thankful. In order to make it to 50 yrs we’re gonna take better care of our health and take it one day at a time. But we don’t live with any regrets and would do it all again.

Sometimes I wonder if the difficulty of having kids is just us or our generation. So it’s a little reassuring to know that even for our parents having kids was a challenge. I like John Maxwell’s quote that having grandchildren is the reward for not killing your children. My parents probably agree with that completely. Having kids is definitely a blessing we are very thankful for and I pray all the time that I become a better dad.

My parents gave Shawna and me a huge compliment about doing a good job balancing family, work, and church involvement. That is something we struggle with from time to time in order to keep on track. We’re making plans for our next family vacation and it gives us something to look forward to through the day to day hustle.

Shawna and I have only been married almost 11 years and we agree with my parents comment after their 40 years about doing it all again but doing some things differently. We’ve all made mistakes we would take back but I when I’m older I want to be able to say I don’t have any regrets. I believe that comes from having peace that God is guiding our lives along a path and everything is happening for a reason.

Part 3: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 3, 2011 in Faith and Church, Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships, My Parents 40th, Series, Stories with

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom. If you missed it you can click here to read Part 1 or click here to read Part 2.

What have you done for fun through the years?

We’ve always been heavily involved in church activities (understatement of the century). We didn’t really call it date night like y’all do now days, but when we were younger we would go out to eat and go to drag racing or rodeo or ball games or Gospel singing events – that was way back when the Gaithers were just a trio. Now days for date night we tend to just go out to eat and take a drive and just enjoy being together. (I will add that my parents take some pretty nice trips as rewards through my dad’s job as an insurance agent).

What have been your hopes and dreams?

We’ve always wanted to do the best we could for you kids and we’ve always wanted to serve other people – living our lives to serve others rather than ourselves.

Dad: When we were pastors we thought success was when I got to pastor without having a 2nd job to support the family.

Mom: As we got older we reached for dreams like having a bigger property with a garden and getting to travel. We were only able to afford that stuff after dad started working in business world.

Now you know how old my parents are – I mean anyone who knew when the Gaithers were just a trio… If you don’t even know who the Gaithers are just look it up on Google – search images, that’s all you need to know. My parents are very country too in case you couldn’t tell from the drag racing and rodeo. That does remind me of our years in a small town called Forest Hill, LA where we went to the dirt track races every Friday night…

I’m glad to know my parents have fun together and have hopes and dreams. It is ashamed that church people treat pastors in such a way that they leave the ministry all the time. My parents still serve in their local church, just not as pastor. Every time I think of my parents deciding to no longer pastor churches I think of how tough a decision that must have been for them because of their heart for ministry. But at the same time I think of how thankful I am that they made such a tough decision because for all we know that is what kept them together and kept our family together.

My dad plants his garden every year and they get to travel to places Shawna and I hope to go to someday. I’d say they’ve set a pretty good example for putting their marriage, hopes, and dreams in proper priority.

Part 2: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 2, 2011 in Faith and Church, Family and Parenting, I Was Broke. Now I'm Not, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships, My Parents 40th, Series, Stories with

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom. If you missed it you can click here to read Part 1.

How did you make it 40 years? What advice do you have for us youngsters?

It’s important to always think back on what brought us together to start with and having a determination to never give up on that. Commitment is taken too lightly now days. People think oh well we can just get a divorce if this doesn’t work out. Divorce was never an option for us. Our parents were married 61 & 57 years so we had a good example of commitment. Our faith strengthened our commitment. It has taken a lot of work – seminars at church, better communication, understanding and appreciating each other.

Did you ever get counseling?

No we never did but there were times we should have.

I am so blessed to have such great examples of commitment in my parents and grandparents. Both sets of my grandparents were together until death did them part. I pray that for my marriage too.

It REALLY frustrates me to hear some of the reasons people get divorced. I can’t claim to understand every situation but I can say I don’t agree with the outcome most of the time. Recently I was beating my head against the wall trying to understand why people get divorced and how to help them stay together instead. I know it sounds cliche but a pastor friend of mine reminded me that divorce is a result of Jesus not being the center and focus of relationships. Simplifying it all – that is true. But it doesn’t give me peace about it at all.

I’m committed to my marriage. I fight for my marriage. We have tough conversations. We read books and go through curriculum in small groups or seminars. We ask for advice or counseling when we need it. And we’ll do all that stuff again and again because staying committed in marriage takes work.

The next post is about fun, hopes, and dreams. Be sure to check back.

Part 1: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 1, 2011 in Faith and Church, Family and Parenting, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships, My Parents 40th, Series, Stories with

This year my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and I’ve been wanting to write about them for several months. There is a lot we can all learn by talking to our parents and using the wisdom they’ve gained through years of experience, or the wisdom they haven’t gained It’s important to have discernment of what advice to take or leave when talking to anyone. My hope for everyone is you have someone like my parents to gain some encouraging wisdom from.

So I basically did a little interview with my parents, something I’ve never really done quite like this, to pick their brain a little at their 40 year mark. In this series of posts I want to share some of the questions I asked and some of the takeaways and insight from the conversation.

What does it feel like to be married 40 years?

Mom: It doesn’t really seem possible that it’s been that long. It feels good just to have survived this long. (She didn’t mean as in they haven’t killed each other, she meant it’s good to be alive at their age – which isn’t as old as they act sometimes ).

Dad: Well, dad was actually still asleep in his chair when I asked the first question (being an old fart) so mom answered for him by saying, “Best years of his life!” (There’s a bit of the humor in this relationship coming out.)

Has it always been a fairytale?

(I asked this because so many young couples are shocked and confused when the ‘fairytale’ wears off)

Mom: It was like any newlyweds – a dream come true. But there weren’t any Disney princess movies back then. We’ve always had reasons to stay grounded. We had to work hard. We never had anything given to us. Our first house was a very old owner financed single wide trailer. 100% financing through banks wasn’t very likely back then if it even existed and getting family to co-sign wasn’t an option for us.

Dad: Back then not so many people lived together before getting married. Times were different. Gas was .19 per gallon and beef was .49 per pound.

That’s a good point about living together and times were different but I’m not sure what that had to do with the question. Oh, he just woke up! Must have been having nightmares about current inflated pricing…

I love the comment my mom made about there not being any Disney princess movies back then. Now days so many young couples are growing up with the crazy notion that they’re going to be swept off their feet and live happily ever after. Then when reality hits and their spouse shows imperfection they’re shocked and don’t know what to do. Why do we spend so much time dreaming the impossible and never spending time considering a more likely reality?

Stay tuned for more from my parents…

Take Initiative

July 25, 2011 in Family and Parenting, Leadership and Growth, Marriage and Relationships with

Here are just some quick thoughts I’ve had recently about taking the initiative to have meaningful relationships – marriage, parenting, sibling, friendships, even professional, etc.

If everyone waits for the another person to initiate nothing will ever happen.

If you’re never willing to initiate no one will ever feel compelled to reciprocate.

If you’re never willing to reciprocate everyone will learn to not initiate with you.

It’s not about keeping score or being fair or equal. It’s about sharing life, good and bad, having love and companionship that goes both ways.

Who should you initiate communication with today?

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