That statement offends feminists but I don’t care. God’s design is for husbands to lead the marriage. It’s how he wired male and female and commanded husbands to lead the family spiritually. Part of that is prayer, reading the word, and making decisions about life that honor God. That decision part is where we get our panties in a wad. Ladies don’t want to be in a position of dependence or submission to a man – they want to be independent and make their own decisions. I understand that and I’m not suggesting ladies don’t have a say. Good leaders (husbands) listen to others before making a decision, especially their wife (hopefully they’re a Godly wife).
I’m also not suggesting ladies can’t be leaders. They can lead lots of things. Just not their husband spiritually. God’s design is for husbands to lead.
Here are some of the general reasons I believe husbands who aren’t leading aren’t doing so:
* their wife won’t let them
* their wife doesn’t respect them
* they’re lazy
* they don’t have accountability
* they don’t even have a relationship with Jesus or the Biblical guidance to start with
When I’m coaching couples I know he’s not leading if:
* He has no clue about the financials because she handles it all
* They indicate that they never go on date night
* Either of them has a hobby that dominates their time and/or money
* The kids dominate their time and/or money
* They can’t remember the last time they prayed together or read anything Biblical together
Some are thinking “we’re different” or “we’re the exception” or something along those lines. No you’re not. There’s a lady reading this who thinks their husband is just not the leader type or it’s just not his personality. This isn’t a personality thing and I’m not talking about the perception all the leadership guru crap of our culture has created. That husband is called to lead. They may have been beat down for years with unreasonable expectations, lack of patience, and general disrespect by you or other family, friends, or bosses. But there is a man inside there somewhere that is called to lead his family.