“I didn’t tell you because I KNEW you would say no.” That sounds like something one of our children would say to us – right? But it is also something that happens between married couples too.
The saver is too strict about the finances – never allowing any fun. The spender has become frustrated with open communication because it always seems to result in them never getting what they want. Both spouses promised to work together, but it isn’t turning out how they imagined.
Next thing they know the frustrated spender is out buying stuff they should have discussed with the saver, and when it is found out the argument begins. The saver is mad because the savings was just spent. The spender is mad because they feel fun-deprived.
Poor spender. I’m playing a tiny violin between my fingers (I’m a saver). What if the scenario went another way.
The spender is too rebellious – always carelessly spending. The saver has become frustrated with open communication because…
Next thing they know the frustrated saver is hiding funds so the saver can’t find them, and when it is found out the argument begins. The spender is mad because the saver is holding out on them. The saver is mad because they feel security-deprived.
Poor saver. I’m sure the spenders reading this are playing a tiny violin between their fingers.
The point is we have to find a way to communicate how we feel, work together, and carefully strike a balance between fun and security. It requires being considerate of each others feelings and preferences with love and sacrificial generosity.