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More Porn History

I’ve written and thought about My Porn History so much lately that I keep remembering more and more details about my childhood.

In the years after my kindergarten nap times and before the age of 12 when I was exposed to hardcore porn I remember being different from most boys on many occasions.

I remember some things that may or may not have been indicators that I had been exposed to inappropriate stuff or I was confused or otherwise whacked up. So here is a list of things I consider odd about my behavior between the age of 5 and 10, because looking back I was the only kid I remember doing some of this stuff on the level that I was doing it.

Girlfriends – I was “going with” (remember that term – “going with” somebody) many and much older girls. I had a lot of girlfriends. There was Brandi, Marsha, Samantha, Monique, and three others I can’t remember their names – between age 5 and 10. That’s a lot. When I was in 2nd grade my girlfriend was in 5th grade – that’s a wide spread at that age. You wonder how this was possible. Well, pimpin ain’t easy, but I have an older sister (Lisa) who was in 5th grade at the time – it was her friend. That was Monique. I wanted her friend Rebecca but I guess I thought she was out of my league. I remember this stuff.

So you’re probably thinking this isn’t a big deal. Kids have “boyfriend and girlfriend” when they’re little. Ok, keep reading.

Love letters – I remember writing some long mushy love letters when I was in 2nd grade. My mom was the teacher (private school in a small town) so she caught me a couple of times and showed the letters to my dad. I think they were concerned but they didn’t know what to do. These weren’t just “i love you” notes they were about kissing and stuff – and they were 2 pages long (started this writing thing early). Maybe I was starved for affection or something – I don’t know. I probably should have been put in counseling with a professional so they could figure out what was going on in my little head.

So you might think this isn’t a big deal either. Ok, read some more.

Kissing – “like a soap opera” – I saw how people kiss on soap operas. I liked the little tingly feeling I didn’t understand but kissing gave it to me. So I would kiss my little girlfriends “like a soap opera”. Where? How? When? Any time I could. At school, at church, whenever nobody was looking.

Ok, if a 2nd grader with a 5th grader ain’t odd and a 2 page graphically mushy love letter ain’t odd, then surely you’ll agree that a 2nd grader french kissing is a little off. Think about a 6-7 yr old locked up with a 10-11 yr old. Picture that in your mind. Really do it. You’re bound to know kids those ages – picture the kids you know locked up like that. Ok, now you’re probably messed up. I think you’ll agree – It ain’t right. Something was wrong. And I won’t even go in to more detail than kissing since I already did enough of that in this post.

Just noting what could be some warning signs for parents. It’s going to be very difficult for me to discern between what is or isn’t ok for my kids, but you better believe I’m going to talk to them about stuff – a lot.

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