A while back I wrote about a bad dream I had where a couple fought about their money in a failed attempt to manage THEIR money as individuals rather than together. You can refer back to that post here.
One common conflict we see regarding money in marriage is when one spouse is the bread-winner and the other is the domestic engineer. Typically in those scenarios the man is the one bringing home the money. That is the scenario for my wife Shawna and I. She does have a couple of things she does for part-time income but it’s not even close to being “even”. But we don’t really look at that. To us it all goes in the same pot and we agree on what gets funded – even when agreeing isn’t easy.
I’ve heard some people say they split the bills evenly. I’ve heard some people say they share according to who makes how much (if one makes 60k and the other 30k the bills are split 2/3 to the 60k earner and 1/3 to the 30k earner – socialistic approach). I’ve heard some people say they make all the money and the other spends it all. I’ve heard other people say they make all the money so the other isn’t allowed to spend any of it.
The way Shawna and I do it is all the money goes in the same pot and we agree on what gets funded. The closest we come to any of the other approaches listed above is sometimes I have a humorous attitude about what Shawna is funding with her part time income. When I’m happy I take pride in how much fun and enjoyment I’m able to fund for the family with the hard-earned income from my job. When I’m not happy I make sure the family knows how spoiled they are and tell Shawna she can fund the fun with her own money because I have to pay the bills with all mine. Sometimes it’s funny and sometimes it isn’t. It depends on what we’re “discussing” and whether or not we are taking it lightly…. ok, whether or not Shawna is taking it lightly.
At the end of the day it is all OURS, not mine and hers. For anyone who is married the same is true – the two become ONE, and that includes the wallet.
How do you manage the money and bills in your family?
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