The assassination of Charlie Kirk has shaken me deeply. He leaves behind a wife and a very young son and daughter. And yet, instead of compassion, many have responded with cruel celebration and vile comments. That has stirred in me both grief and anger—not hatred, because as a follower of Christ I am commanded to love all people—but righteous anger at the lies, the deception, and the hardness of heart that would lead anyone to rejoice in the death of another human being.

I’ve followed Charlie’s work for years, beginning back when his college campus debates first started making the rounds on social media. At first, I thought he came across a little cocky, as young men often do. But as I continued watching, I saw him grow—mature in his tone, sharpen his reasoning, and become increasingly humble and sympathetic toward those who disagreed with him.

Charlie was not perfect. None of us are. Sometimes he joked in ways that could be offensive, or he answered harshly to someone who was being harsh toward him. But here’s the difference: even in those moments, he would acknowledge it and try to make peace. I’ve watched him correct his own audience when they mocked someone who came to the mic. I’ve watched him give dignity and respect to people who despised him. I’ve watched him sit patiently—far more patiently than most of us would—while someone rambled with nonsense or attacked him personally, and still he responded with calmness and clarity.

Charlie Kirk was the most committed to free speech I have ever seen. He would talk to anyone—young or old, any race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, or political persuasion. He welcomed tough questions. He welcomed debate. And though it was obvious many times that his opponents were no match for his knowledge and skill, he never belittled them. He listened. He cared. That was his Christlike character shining through.

And at the core of it all, Charlie stood on firm values:

• He loved Jesus and knew the Scriptures, often quoting them with precision and conviction.
• He believed in the beauty of marriage and family, urging men to step up as good husbands and fathers.
• He cherished America—not as a flawless nation, but as one with roots in Christian principles and the potential for good when united.
• He believed in young people and their ability to change the culture for the better.

If you’ve never watched his long-form videos, you wouldn’t know these things. Short clips rarely capture his true heart. In fact, they are often weaponized against him. Media outlets and bad-faith actors edit his words, exaggerate them, or outright twist them into false narratives. Anyone who has actually watched Charlie’s content without preconceived hate in their heart knows for a fact there are questionable narratives about him (downright lies). It is undeniable.

That’s why I tell people: don’t take my word for it. Go to his YouTube channel. Watch a full two-hour college Q&A session. Watch one from a southern university like Tennessee or South Carolina, and then watch one from Washington State or Michigan State. Compare. Notice how he treated everyone fairly, even those who despised him.

This is what makes the hate surrounding his death so shocking. It reveals something deeper than politics. The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” What we are witnessing is spiritual warfare. This isn’t left vs right, Democrat vs Republican. This is good vs evil.

Look at the fruit. In the aftermath of his death, there are prayer vigils—people humbly crying out to God. And there are those spewing vile comments, vandalizing the vigils, mocking and tearing down. That contrast should make us all pause and ask: who is really deceived? Who is really serving darkness?

My plea is simple. To my liberal friends, my left-leaning friends, my LGBTQ friends—I am not asking you to agree with Charlie Kirk on every issue. I am not judging your lifestyle, your beliefs, or your choices. I am asking for something simpler, and far more basic: fairness. The same fairness Charlie extended to everyone who spoke with him.

Please—set aside the propaganda. Stop blindly believing what others have told you about him. Go to the source. Spend two to four hours watching Charlie’s long-form content. I ask this because I know from experience, talking to so many of you, that you are far too unwilling to hear someone out if they don’t agree with you. See for yourself how he conducted himself, how he listened, how he stood boldly but graciously for what he believed.

That’s the least we can do. The man gave us his voice, his mind, his heart, and in the end, his life. Honor him by doing what he always did: listen, engage, and seek the truth.

Charlie Kirk’s legacy will not die with him. It will live on in millions who refuse to bow to lies, who stand for truth with kindness, who cling to faith in Christ, and who fight the good fight not with hate, but with love and courage.

Back when we were doing financial coaching, some of our favorite appointments were with couples who were either preparing to get engaged, already engaged, or newly married. Those were the ones taking proactive steps—getting ready for the life changes, challenges, and blessings that come with building a future together.

Looking back, I can think of several of those couples off the top of my head who are still married more than a decade later. I’d be willing to bet they’re thankful they got financial coaching early on—not just because of the financial clarity it gave them, but because of the strength it added to their relationship.

On the flip side, I also know couples who didn’t make it, and money was likely a major source of tension. Financial stress is one of the most common strains on a relationship. But it doesn’t have to be.

Getting counsel—whether it’s financial, relational, or otherwise—taps into a timeless principle: you reap what you sow.

It’s often said like this: Whatever you’re spending or investing your time, attention, talent, or money into right now is an indicator of your future outcomes. That’s not just a nice saying—it’s deeply true.

If you’re putting a disproportionate amount of focus on the things culture tells you are important—weddings, aesthetics, lifestyle, status—while neglecting the things that actually carry long-term weight—communication, trust, financial stewardship—you may find the results aren’t what you hoped for.

It’s not that these mistakes can’t be survived—Shawna and I have made it through 25 years of marriage, including some very tough financial seasons. But the road was a lot bumpier than it needed to be. There were seasons we probably could’ve navigated more wisely if we had sought counsel earlier—whether we thought we already “knew enough” or not.

So if you’re in a season of change or preparation—getting married, starting a new career, buying a home, raising kids—it’s worth asking:

What are you sowing into this season? What kind of harvest do you want to see in the years to come?

Getting wise counsel now may not feel urgent, but it might just be one of the most important investments you make.

An incredibly complex, comprehensive, and challenging thing, no doubt, but I believe there are a few areas of discussion we stand to give better attention in order to help us become better men.

Better Understanding of the Masculine and Feminine Dynamic

It is a sensitive subject, I know. While there’s a lot of noise about who is or isn’t a man or woman anymore, there is what I believe to be a misunderstood tension between masculine and feminine at play. 

The fact that masculine tends to be associated with men, because men are generally the masculine gender, and feminine tends to be associated with women, because women are generally the feminine gender, is where the misunderstanding begins. 

While those generalizations are true and real, they are not absolute. We should all know there are exceptions to any generalization. 

I believe in order for us to have productive conversations about masculinity and femininity we must be capable of thinking about their respective traits as independent of gender while acknowledging and honoring that the generalizations about gender are true and real.

I want to go into more detail on this subject later because it is very complex.

Better Patriarchs

That’s a trigger word, I know. But that is not my intent. I believe the existence of patriarchs and matriarchs in our families is a separate subject from the controversial topic of ‘patriarchal society’. 

On one hand, I am under the impression that men have mishandled the role of patriarch in our families which has contributed to the perception, however real it may or may not be, that our society is ‘patriarchal’ and riddled with ‘toxic masculinity’. 

On the other hand, my impression of women’s response to mens’ failures does as much to perpetuate a destructive cycle as it does to advance matriarchy. 

It is mens’ fault, though. Again, speaking in general terms. The cycle started with men mishandling masculinity and patriarchy. We must accept that responsibility and change. Women must also acknowledge a cycle is occurring and choose to end it. 

The fall of man took place at the moment the original patriarch and matriarch did not choose and act in accordance with God’s design. 

This will be a very interesting topic to continue exploring. 

Better Influence In Our Communities

Triggering terms like ‘patriarchal society’ wouldn’t exist if we were better influences in our communities. Again, I’m speaking in general terms. 

Who holds us accountable, other than our wives? Who do we hold accountable? How well is it working? 

The reason ‘patriarchal society’ has become such a terrible thing is because men have done a terrible job holding people accountable to moral and ethical standards. 

It starts at home with the family and carries over into community. Again, it is men’s fault. This too will be an interesting topic to cover more moving forward. 

Better Followers of Jesus

I’m not one to shove faith down anyone’s throat, but I am not ashamed to discuss my faith in Christ and encourage others to do the same. 

It is my belief that if we truly approached all the topics I’ve outlined above with the heart of Jesus, the world would be a much better place. By ‘heart of Jesus’ I don’t mean the one dimensional soft version we tend to fixate on in church. I mean the one who also flipped tables and looked powerful people in the face and said “I am” knowing what would happen next. 

He is the only Alpha I know. Anyone else using that term is out of context. 

Moving Forward

The intent of this post is only to serve as an intro to these thoughts and positions. I want to continue learning and growing in these areas myself and share in the journey with anyone who seeks to be a better man. 

“The harvest is plenty but the workers are few.” That’s what I thought of multiple times throughout a long and enduring day of laborious work volunteering for  Rebuild Upstate to build a wheelchair ramp for a person in need. 

Why is that what I thought about? I could go on and on. Lord, help me.  

There is so much need all around us, so much opportunity to ‘be the hands and feet of Jesus’. But it doesn’t always look like what our ‘Christian culture’ has become accustomed to. 

There are a million ways to make a million bucks and throw money at any number of causes with the expectation that anyone but ourselves will actually do the work. 

There are a million ‘reasons’ why we don’t have the time, skill sets, personality, or whatever other excuses we can muster up to stay comfortable and justify our ‘someone else should do it’ posture. 

I couldn’t be more proud of the family and friends who joined me in serving, hands-on, in a way that was difficult, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, laborious, and exhausting. They are the epitome of self-sacrifice, embracing the discomfort necessary to do unfamiliar things for the service of someone we didn’t even know just because there was a need. 

I saw people learn skills they didn’t have before to do a job that needed to be done. I saw people who could have been doing a million other things doing something that too few are willing to do. Why? Jesus. 

I’d be the first to proclaim “yes, we should be generous financially”. 

I’d be the first to proclaim “yes we should use our gifts and talents in any setting to ‘do ministry’”. 

I’d also be the first to say if you want to get another perspective of what Jesus was like, the son of God who lived the life of a carpenter and ultimately suffered for all our sins, then you need to get your hands dirty, suffer some pain, do things you’re not familiar with, and serve someone. 

Serve someone who you don’t even know, someone who can’t give you anything in return. Try doing it without even meeting them so they can’t even say thank you. Try doing it where no one will see and offer any type of appreciation or encouragement that strokes your ego. 

That is true selflessness. That is Jesus – the Jesus who was crucified on the cross for our sins.