An incredibly complex, comprehensive, and challenging thing, no doubt, but I believe there are a few areas of discussion we stand to give better attention in order to help us become better men.

Better Understanding of the Masculine and Feminine Dynamic

It is a sensitive subject, I know. While there’s a lot of noise about who is or isn’t a man or woman anymore, there is what I believe to be a misunderstood tension between masculine and feminine at play. 

The fact that masculine tends to be associated with men, because men are generally the masculine gender, and feminine tends to be associated with women, because women are generally the feminine gender, is where the misunderstanding begins. 

While those generalizations are true and real, they are not absolute. We should all know there are exceptions to any generalization. 

I believe in order for us to have productive conversations about masculinity and femininity we must be capable of thinking about their respective traits as independent of gender while acknowledging and honoring that the generalizations about gender are true and real.

I want to go into more detail on this subject later because it is very complex.

Better Patriarchs

That’s a trigger word, I know. But that is not my intent. I believe the existence of patriarchs and matriarchs in our families is a separate subject from the controversial topic of ‘patriarchal society’. 

On one hand, I am under the impression that men have mishandled the role of patriarch in our families which has contributed to the perception, however real it may or may not be, that our society is ‘patriarchal’ and riddled with ‘toxic masculinity’. 

On the other hand, my impression of women’s response to mens’ failures does as much to perpetuate a destructive cycle as it does to advance matriarchy. 

It is mens’ fault, though. Again, speaking in general terms. The cycle started with men mishandling masculinity and patriarchy. We must accept that responsibility and change. Women must also acknowledge a cycle is occurring and choose to end it. 

The fall of man took place at the moment the original patriarch and matriarch did not choose and act in accordance with God’s design. 

This will be a very interesting topic to continue exploring. 

Better Influence In Our Communities

Triggering terms like ‘patriarchal society’ wouldn’t exist if we were better influences in our communities. Again, I’m speaking in general terms. 

Who holds us accountable, other than our wives? Who do we hold accountable? How well is it working? 

The reason ‘patriarchal society’ has become such a terrible thing is because men have done a terrible job holding people accountable to moral and ethical standards. 

It starts at home with the family and carries over into community. Again, it is men’s fault. This too will be an interesting topic to cover more moving forward. 

Better Followers of Jesus

I’m not one to shove faith down anyone’s throat, but I am not ashamed to discuss my faith in Christ and encourage others to do the same. 

It is my belief that if we truly approached all the topics I’ve outlined above with the heart of Jesus, the world would be a much better place. By ‘heart of Jesus’ I don’t mean the one dimensional soft version we tend to fixate on in church. I mean the one who also flipped tables and looked powerful people in the face and said “I am” knowing what would happen next. 

He is the only Alpha I know. Anyone else using that term is out of context. 

Moving Forward

The intent of this post is only to serve as an intro to these thoughts and positions. I want to continue learning and growing in these areas myself and share in the journey with anyone who seeks to be a better man. 

“The harvest is plenty but the workers are few.” That’s what I thought of multiple times throughout a long and enduring day of laborious work volunteering for  Rebuild Upstate to build a wheelchair ramp for a person in need. 

Why is that what I thought about? I could go on and on. Lord, help me.  

There is so much need all around us, so much opportunity to ‘be the hands and feet of Jesus’. But it doesn’t always look like what our ‘Christian culture’ has become accustomed to. 

There are a million ways to make a million bucks and throw money at any number of causes with the expectation that anyone but ourselves will actually do the work. 

There are a million ‘reasons’ why we don’t have the time, skill sets, personality, or whatever other excuses we can muster up to stay comfortable and justify our ‘someone else should do it’ posture. 

I couldn’t be more proud of the family and friends who joined me in serving, hands-on, in a way that was difficult, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, laborious, and exhausting. They are the epitome of self-sacrifice, embracing the discomfort necessary to do unfamiliar things for the service of someone we didn’t even know just because there was a need. 

I saw people learn skills they didn’t have before to do a job that needed to be done. I saw people who could have been doing a million other things doing something that too few are willing to do. Why? Jesus. 

I’d be the first to proclaim “yes, we should be generous financially”. 

I’d be the first to proclaim “yes we should use our gifts and talents in any setting to ‘do ministry’”. 

I’d also be the first to say if you want to get another perspective of what Jesus was like, the son of God who lived the life of a carpenter and ultimately suffered for all our sins, then you need to get your hands dirty, suffer some pain, do things you’re not familiar with, and serve someone. 

Serve someone who you don’t even know, someone who can’t give you anything in return. Try doing it without even meeting them so they can’t even say thank you. Try doing it where no one will see and offer any type of appreciation or encouragement that strokes your ego. 

That is true selflessness. That is Jesus – the Jesus who was crucified on the cross for our sins. 

As of today, I’m officially starting back to blogging. 

Way back in 2004 or 2005, when I first started blogging, I was on the blogger platform. Then around 2007 or 2008, I got in a self-hosted WordPress site. That was like going high-tech back then. 

Blogs had a totally different feel back then. They were more personal opinions. They could be about anything on the writer’s mind. Having a brand or a niche wasn’t the point. It was what people with anything to say did before social media had really taken off. It was truly a web-log of thoughts or teachings. 

Now blogs are supposed to be super focused on specific topics and have strategic monetizing and all this other crap. It’s literally what I’ve done on and off in various capacities for various businesses over the years as a way of earning a living. It can be a lot of fun and at the same time, it can take a lot of the fun out of being online. 

I’ve allowed what everyone else has influenced blogging to become to take away the joy I used to experience from creating…the joy of having written out thoughts just for self-expression…regardless of whether or not it is read by anyone or is correctly done (as evidenced by this run on sentence) or ever makes a dime of revenue. 

So I’m picking up the modern-day ‘pen’ again (so to speak – it’s obviously a keyboard). Over the years, as I’ve neglected this, I’ve actually jotted down a ton of notes of things I’d like to ‘talk’ about. Writing will have to do (at least for now). Obviously, I like parentheses’ thoughts as well. 

If you happen to see this because you’re still subscribed to my blog through RSS, I apologize. Take that however you want. I either apologize for leaving you hanging or for whatever potentially unwanted email in which you might be receiving this. Honestly, I’ll be shocked if anything even still works on my site when I go to copy this from my notes app into WordPress. 

Obviously, I’m gonna have to do some work on the ole site if people actually start coming to it again. It’s so out of date. The picture of my family is probably about 8yrs old, I’ve only written a couple of times over those years, and a lot of my experiences in life have changed my views on some of what I used to write about. It’s called maturing. Most of us do that as we get older. I’ll never stop trying to improve. 

Anyway –  I just needed to get this post out as a way of breaking the ice – more for myself than anything else (I like hyphens too). 

This post will not be SEO’d. I will not post it on social media. In fact, I might not do either of those things much or ever with future posts. We’ll see. As I write these words I’m literally thinking it’s like I’m talking to myself but if anyone else happens to read it I’m happy to be talking to you as well. Either way, I’m ok with it. 

Ok – til the next post… living our adventure. 

The book promotion is going well.  Lots of people are taking advantage of it while it’s free, and I really hope it helps them in their financial journey.  It reached #1 in both of it’s categories Tuesday and is steadily climbing in the overall rank.

If it can get to the top 100 then a lot of people will find out about it and have the opportunity to be encouraged in their financial journey as well.  One way to help it out is to post some good reviews, so if you happen to have at least skimmed over it and can leave an honest and positive review that would be much appreciated.  If you haven’t had the opportunity to get it yet – click here.

It’s truly humbling to think God can use something like this to reach people.  Thank you for your support in getting it out to as many people as possible.