It would be impossible to list ALL the things couples fight about, so here is a quick rundown of 5 big ones that can cause tremendous strain on a marriage:
- Money – It is an every day part of life that affects everything whether we want it to or not. Each spouse approaches money differently – different attitudes, experiences, personalities, habits, knowledge, ability, this list could go on and on. Those differences in how money is managed can create daily conflict.
- Sex – It should be a frequent part of married life that affects pretty much everything because of the intimacy it is supposed to create between us. So the conflict arises over frequency and satisfaction. (that needs a whole lot of explanation I’m not going in to with this post)
- Kids – If you’re doing the above I can tell you from experience that kids are highly likely to happen. Then each spouse approaches raising them differently, how to love, discipline, provide, and teach them.
- Family – Each spouse has differences on their “side” of the family, and that affects the marriage. How involved the extended family is, where holidays and special occasions are spent, and how to prioritize the needs of the immediate family and extended family so that neither ends up totally neglected.
- Career – The type of work we do, the amount of time we work, where we have to live or move to do that work, the people we work with, the opportunity it creates or passes by, the financial return for the work. Each spouse sees these things differently and the career decisions we make affect each other no matter how “independently awesome” we think we are.
Does this list look pretty accurate as 5 biggies that affect marriage greatly? Just because I listed them in that order doesn’t mean that is the order you’re experiencing them in. But I strongly believe it makes sense for most couples to deal with them in that order. The key is turning these points of friction in to productive opportunities to communicate and cooperate with one another in a way that strengthens our relationship rather than weaken it.
Speak Your Mind