A documentary on solitary confinement in prisons made me think about how the idea of solitary confinement applies to how some married couples treat each other regarding finances.
The idea of solitary confinement is intended to modify bad behavior by isolating dangerous individuals. This is what some spouses do to each other by separating their accounts or hiding savings. One spouse recognizes that the other is a reckless spender so they decide to separate accounts or open secret accounts to isolate the bad behavior and protect the finances from the reckless one.
Studies show that solitary confinement is extremely damaging to people. The same is true for spouses who are being left out of the financial decision making. Most relationships tend to have one spouse who wants to dominate the finances and expect the other spouse to live with it. Without balance that can cause emotional damage to the isolated spouse as well as to the relationship.
Studies show that loneliness impairs ones control over their impulses. Someone feeling that they’re all alone in the effort to improve their financial behavior could cause them to lack the ability to control their impulses and result in undesirable behavior. Everyone lacks in some area of life but no one should lack hope that they can change. Feeling alone in the effort to change challenges ones hope of ever succeeding.
Don’t put each other in financial solitary confinement. WORK TOGETHER! You CAN do this! I know you can. I believe in your ability to succeed. Don’t give up.
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