My Thoughts In Blog Form - Mark Asbell

Rejoicing

June 16, 2015 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Natural inclinations – weak, short sighted, selfish, human. In moments when situations and circumstances are great we rejoice, and maybe give some credit where it’s due (thanks to God). In seasons of difficulty, when the proverbial poop is hitting the fan, we tend to be angry, confused, and fearful.

Emotion clouds our judgement and leads to thoughts and actions that are far from the rejoicing we’re taught about in 1 Thessalonians. It isn’t unreasonable to believe that the further we are from rejoicing the further we are from God’s will.

As I reflect on the circumstances of the difficult season my family has been through recently I realize the fruit of going against the natural inclination, the fruit of rejoicing instead of worrying, questioning, or being frustrated. We’ve experienced an outpouring of support spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. God has worked through everyone around us to prove faithful to His promises to never leave us and never forsake us, to be our source of strength, and to provide our every need. For all those things we are humbly and overwhelmingly grateful.

None of those things are the fruit of rejoicing though. What if we didn’t experience all those wonderful things, or if none of it happened in our expectation of time, or if we didn’t have the wisdom to recognize or acknowledge them when they happened? Would we rejoice anyway? The fruit of rejoicing is not what we’re getting or experiencing when things are good, and it’s not whatever we’re hoping to eventually have or experience when things are bad. The fruit of rejoicing is… Joy. Do you have it?

Filed Under: Faith, Personal Growth

Life Is Too Short

April 7, 2015 by Mark Asbell 1 Comment

Life is too short for lots of things, and lately I’m overwhelmed with that reality. There’s always something worse to imagine going through than what we’re currently experiencing, and those thoughts might help us cope, but when we’re going through anything tough it can be a harsh reminder to do more…living.

March 26th is normally a wonderful day of celebration for my wife’s, Shawna, birthday. But this March 26th will forever be marked as the date we lost a very close loved one – our brother (in-law), David Butts. We are crushed with devastation, and our hearts ache deeply for our sister, Lenae, and their three boys, Gauge, Gavin, & Garen. No matter how hard we try to love on them and no matter how bad we want to ease their pain, there is nothing we can do to bring David back or replace his love and relationship in their lives.

So many thoughts cross our minds as we think back on our time with David. We should have ____ more. The list of things to fill that blank with is endless, and the list of people we could try to fill the blank with is endless. But life is also too short to try filling that blank with too many things, and it is definitely too short for trying to fill that blank with the wrong people.

As I reflected on that life truth in the days following David’s passing, I thought and prayed that I would live life to the fullest, that I would pursue God’s plan for me – for every relationship, moment, decision. I live with the attitude that there is always room for improvement, for becoming – whatever we’re becoming. (I even eluded to that in my talk at David’s memorial service because I believe David was living that way too, whether he knew it or not.)

One area of life I’ve struggled with for years is career. I’ve known for quite some time that something needs to change. I’ve felt a calling to something more. I’ve had opportunities to do things that have helped me develop many skills and qualities. But I’ve failed to make any significant changes in career path – mostly due to fear of financial failure. Having these thoughts after our devastating loss I became full of determination to make my existing path look brighter or find another path, I literally put on my to-do list, “plan talking points for (boss name) – something has to change”.

Before I even got a chance to schedule that conversation, and only a week after the devastating phone call about David’s death, I received another devastating phone call. It was the boss letting me know that his company, that I’ve loyally served for 11 years, is going out of business. This came as a complete shock to me because as far as I knew everything was going ok – not great but better than average so far this year for me and for the company too, so I thought. It doesn’t matter though – the company is closing regardless of the reason, and I am left looking for a job.

Timing can seem crazy, but I believe it’s God’s plan. Losing my job 8 days earlier might have freaked me out, but that perspective is different when receiving the news on the heals of losing a brother. Don’t get me wrong – it sucks. It’s like being kicked while you’re down, but I keep it in perspective by reminding myself it is nothing compared to living in a country where real threats exist – like lions or drug lords.

Apparently, God’s plan is not to stay on the path I was on or to try and fix something that was obviously broken – more than I even realized. The question now is what exactly is the plan. I’m completely open and willing to do anything. Of course, there are certain things that might make more sense than other things but since when did everything God plans for us make sense to us? No – I’m not limiting my options only to what makes sense.

I’m talking to anyone and everyone. I’m open to anything. It’s not all about how much money I can make, but I don’t want to be taken advantage of either. It’s not all about working for the best company, but I don’t want to be with a losing organization either. When it’s all said and done I want to be somewhere I feel challenged to continue growing personally, somewhere that wants more out of my qualities than the dollars I can produce, somewhere the people are valued, respected, and trusted, somewhere relationships are genuine and professional, and somewhere family and friends relationships are valued and encouraged.

When I say I’m talking to anyone, I do mean anyone. I could do pretty much anything. I’ve done corporate, small business, and ministry work. I’ve worked in manufacturing process and supply chain management. I’ve done print industry sales and account management. I’ve taught and done public speaking. I’ve overseen web projects, social presence, and other marketing. I’ve done writing projects. I’ve lead and managed and participated in team building. I’ve done finances, forecasting, and strategy. I love learning, and I love to be challenged.

So, I’m not limiting myself to one particular industry or ministry. I’m looking for professional challenge, personal growth, and great relationships. If there’s one thing I have learned from my brother David, it is that life is too short for anything less than…living.

Filed Under: Business, Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Stories

Everyone Is a Leader

February 4, 2015 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

In basically every corner of culture there’s talk of ‘leadership’ this and ‘leader’ that, which can be a good or bad thing depending on the context, motives, and attitude. I think I’ve hinted around my thoughts about ‘leadership’ on here before, but in this post I want to make one thing perfectly clear. EVERYONE is a leader.

We’ve all heard some form of the phrase “the life he/she is leading”. There you go – we’re all LEADING a life. In my opinion the greatest authority on the subject of leadership is John C. Maxwell. He says that the most difficult person to lead is yourself. That principle makes all of us a leader of at least one – self.

The greatest lesson my parents taught me about leadership is “lead by example”. They took every opportunity they got to tell me, “remember who you are”, and, “lead by example”. I always took that from them to mean, “follow God’s word and be who he’s prompting you to be; and follow the example we’ve set for you, and set that example for others no matter what others are doing”. My parents aren’t perfect, but they’re darn good people. I feel the same way about my wife’s parents. Of course we have our differences from our parents, but generally speaking they are some amazing examples to follow.

If you’re a terrible leader of yourself it doesn’t matter what your position is, who you know, who else is following you, what you know, or what you’re doing. People might be following what you’re doing regardless of whether or not they truly know you, but your leadership is limited to how much people trust that the image you portray is truly the example you live for those who do really know you. I pray every single day for wisdom and discernment with that trust, and that I steward well any trust others have in me.

Everyone has a self to lead, and how well we lead that self is the greatest indicator of our strength (aka character) as a leader (aka person). Are you an example worth following?

Filed Under: Personal Growth

Deflated Balls & Church Nonsense

January 22, 2015 by Mark Asbell 1 Comment

The major question dominating sports world at the moment is, “Did the New England Patriots deflate their balls”? First of all – Eww! Second of all – who gives a rip?

Ok – so maybe deflated balls give you some sort of advantage in some way on the field. I played ball enough to know there’s only a few instances where it matters if the ball is a little softer, and I can’t imagine how it’s a game changer in most of those instances. But ok – there are rules. For every normal person upset about this I have one question – will it prevent you from watching the Super Bowl? I sense the answer is a resounding “NO”.

Here’s the thing – we’re crazy about the Super Bowl. Of course, we want to see our team in it, but the fact of the matter is we don’t care who is in it – we’re still gonna watch. It’s a great night for anyone who can appreciate the game and for the rest who just watch for the commercials and will eventually appreciate the game if they keep watching. I could care less if Tom Brady was in on it – he’s always been a too much of a pretty boy to me anyway. I’ll be watching the Super Bowl.

This whole discussion reminds me a little bit of drama my pastor is going through lately. You might have heard of him – he’s the guy under a lot of fire right now for “changing” the 10 commandments. He’s Perry Noble.

I don’t “know” him on a personal level. I think he might just maybe know me by name if he saw me in public, but that’s only because of mutual friends and 11 yrs of faithful attendance. But I still call him pastor.

I don’t “know” his heart beyond what I see from a distance on a stage, but I do believe there is good in him beyond what he gets credit for in situations like he’s in right now.

I’ll be among the first to say the man isn’t perfect. There are times I want to stand up in church and say “shut up Perry – you ain’t as tough as you think you are” or “think about what you’re saying” – you know, in those times when he comes across very arrogant. But that would be incredibly inappropriate in church, wouldn’t help anything, would misrepresent my own character (as if some people aren’t reading this and judging me anyway), and ultimately would do nothing to advance the kingdom. Perry isn’t perfect. Shocker! None of us are. But I can’t say I’ve ever disagreed with the biblical basis of messages I believe Perry is trying to teach regardless of whatever attitude he sometimes clouds it with.

The whole scandal of the 10 commandments message is another one of those cases, and it’s being blown way out of proportion – IMHO (in my humble opinion for you acronym-less peeps). I was in that service and I thought it was a fantastic way of presenting the 10 commandments as promises to those who need hope rather than a checklist for those who think they’re keeping all 10 of them. So he mistakenly stated there is no such thing as the word “commandment” in the original translation. Who really cares, and why? That’s a detail. He apologized like a real man – accept that and move on. The point of the message was this – Don’t let your inability to keep “10 commandments” keep you from walking into a relationship with Jesus, because quite frankly none of us can keep those commandments – Instead think of them as promises, which might be a better translation of the original text anyway. It was a great message – I left feeling very encouraged in my own walk with Christ.

Put on top of that the whole “N” word nonsense (don’t get me started) and goodness gracious Perry has taken a real beating lately. You might say his balls are deflated. You might even say it’s discouraging and makes you not even want to go to church. My question would be this. If something stupid like deflated balls doesn’t stop you from watching football why would it stop you from going to church?

Skip the super bowl of church (NewSpring) if you want (I personally sometimes find the hype of all the “branding” a bit distasteful too), but don’t skip out on church just because you don’t like a player. Find somewhere to do regular season church.

Filed Under: Faith, Sports

Standing Up to Bullies

January 21, 2015 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

It seems bullying is getting a lot of attention these days. We’ve experienced it a little with our kids. The whole idea of bullying wasn’t getting so much attention wayyy back when I was a youngster, but it’s not like bullying is a new thing.

I think the biggest problem is kids aren’t being taught to stand up for what is right. We’re teaching our kids tolerance of everything and then wondering why no one stands up to the bullies of the world. We model for our kids an unwillingness to stand up for ourselves or someone else because of the fear of what our actions might cost us.

The root of this problem, and many other problems in life, is selfishness. The bully is a selfish person, obviously, and I don’t want to get in to all the possible reasons why. The bottom line is bullies, and lots of other types of narcissist behaviors, all boil down to being selfish.

But isn’t it just as selfish to be aware of bullying and fail to address it? The right thing to do would be to try and stop the bullying. But we’re more concerned about what doing the right thing might cost us than we are about doing the right thing. We’re willing to sacrifice a lifetime of building the character and integrity it takes to do the right thing more than we are willing to sacrifice whatever temporary consequences another person can inflict upon us. This self-preserving mentality is passed on to our kids and they either get bullied or ignore someone else getting bullied, so bullying continues.

There’s a saying, “Nice guys finish last”, and I believe the reason that proves true is because there aren’t enough generally good and nice people willing to stand up for what is right and get back up when a bully knocks them down. What do we have to be afraid of? I’d rather die a torturous death and still have some character and integrity intact than watch bullies beat everyone down my whole life and do nothing about it.

I hope I’m teaching my kids to do what is right no matter the cost.

Filed Under: Business, Family, Personal Growth

Keeping It Real Update

January 16, 2015 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

Quite some time ago I promised to keep it real on here, and I think I’ve done so to some extent, but it’s time for a big time transparent update because I believe that’s what God wants me to do right now.

If you’ve read our story (either in previous posts on this blog or in the e-book) then you know what my biggest struggle has been for quite some time – I live pretty anxious about finances. Crazy I know – coming from a guy who has been unbelievably blessed and helps other people get on track. But none of that means I am perfect or don’t experience setbacks that challenge my faith.

I could write a 5000 word report about all the reasons I’m feeling more pressure right now (business is wildly unpredictable, etc). But there’s really no good point to make there – that’s life. The lesson I’m learning (or being reminded of) is, that regardless of how bad financial circumstances get, God is still good and He will provide. Being overly-stressed about things doesn’t change that, and trying to carry that burden on my own takes away from the glory God gets when we keep our faith in Him.

So I’ve been surrendering all this to God and sharing it with others every chance I get. The money situation is tighter than it’s been in years and it does stress me out. At times I believe it is a spiritual attack trying to prevent us from fulfilling a giving commitment we felt lead to make. Just as there’s a God that loves us there’s an enemy that wants to destroy us.

Regardless of why things aren’t easy right now, my family and I will steward what we’ve been blessed with and keep our commitments. Whatever the results, we’re keeping our focus on God and our faith in His promises. So pray for us please.

Filed Under: Business, Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth

New – Meal Plan Sheet

December 15, 2014 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

For most people grocery shopping is not an activity we look forward to doing – especially when it requires sticking to a budget. Most of us are usually too tired or busy to have to worry about what we’re going to cook. We end up eating out more than we should, which is unhealthy, and spending more than we should, which is bad for the bank account.

In financial coaching we have found ourselves telling people over and over again about the Meal Plan Sheet (click to download) we use, but no one is ever able to find them. It is hilarious how many people have come back to us and told their story of searching high and low everywhere for the meal plan sheets we told them about. Well search no more – there it is!

Here’s why we love meal planning… Each week we sit down with this sheet on Sunday’s and plan out meals for the whole week. Having that plan prevents us from having to worry every day about “what’s for dinner.” When anyone asks “what’s for dinner” they are pointed to the meal plan on the side of the refrigerator, and then they’re asked to help get started preparing it.

Having meals all planned out helps us fight the urge to eat out too. But most importantly it helps us control our spending at the grocery store. We’re much more likely to stick to the shopping list when we have a meal plan, and much less likely to stock up on things “just in case” when we have a detailed plan.

Now go print a bunch of them out and get started planning your meals from now on!

Filed Under: Money

An Exciting New adVenture

December 10, 2014 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

From the time I was in college I’ve dreamed of owning business, and I actually have in various ways – from the mobile car detailing business I did for a couple of years to network marketing programs to consulting, speaking, and project managing as an outside contractor for other businesses (even my sales job is essentially a business of it’s own). So I am very excited about the newest venture.

Introducing Impact Sport Events, LLC. Created to make active lifestyle normal and fun for families – Impact Sport Events exists to provide family friendly and fun opportunities to be physically active. Our core values are centered around faith, family, community, fitness, and fun. Part of our excitement is also for the opportunity to support RiceBowls.org with portions of our proceeds.

The first event we’re directing is the Shamrock Shuffle at Hartwell Dam in Hartwell, GA on March 14, 2015 – a 5k and 1mi Family Fun Run. It will be a great day to get out and be active, and it will be an honor to have as many of our family and friends there as possible. So if you can be there please consider coming out and joining in the fun. Click here to register!

Filed Under: Business, Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships, Sports

New Tool – Monthly Budget With Tracking

December 8, 2014 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

One of the best disciplines anyone could ever develop is the practice of budgeting. It is biblical. It is smart. And it is completely necessary in order to truly have peace of mind with money. You gotta plan it and you gotta track it to know how you’re doing against the plan.

There are so many options out there for doing a budget and tracking expenditures, and for me none are as simple to customize to my liking as a good ole fashioned excel spreadsheet. That’s why I have an ever-changing system that works for me. It includes an excel sheet I tweak consistently and Quicken that I learn new tricks on as I see fit. But for everyone I meet with in one-on-one financial coaching I always recommend starting with what is most simple – excel.

The problem with most excel budgets out there is it is simple to create one for budgeting but not as simple to do the transaction entry and reporting that helps you know how well you’re sticking to the plan. That’s why I created the Monthly Budget With Tracking tool (click the link to download it).

The beautiful thing about this tool is the transaction log and report page. Enter your transactions on the log and then use the report page to do the sums and comparisons. No more of the failed attempts to add up actual spending in your head, or trying to remember exactly how you got to such a wrong amount. The transactions are right there and they tell the whole story – the truth and nothing but the truth. Because numbers don’t lie (unless they’re statistics).

It is a bit of a work in progress, but I’ve shared it with several folks in the coaching process and they all seem to appreciate the simple approach to planning, logging, and reporting performance. So if it might be helpful to you then take some time to download it, read the short instruction page, and get to work. You can’t control your money without giving it a plan, and you can’t control your plan without tracking your behavior.

As I adapt more of the excel sheets that work for us to be sharable for all I’ll definitely post them on the tools & tips page. So stay tuned.

Filed Under: Money

What F3 Means to Me and Why Men Should Be There

November 25, 2014 by Mark Asbell 4 Comments

When you receive an email from someone you trust that basically says there’s this cool new thing starting up that’s free (that gets everyone’s attention) and challenging exercise, but fun and for men… yeah – you pay attention to emails like that. Why? Because we men need those things – open opportunities to push ourselves physically and be real with each other the way men can only do when the ladies are not around (because we’re gentlemen of course).

So when I received such an email from a friend that I trust I checked what it was all about and was immediately interested. Then I checked with my friend to see if he was going. No? Why? Ok – those are almost understandable circumstances for sitting out for now – almost. But he won’t be let off the hook that easy. I’m gonna be on him like stink on… well – you know stink on guys, until he comes out to try what he informed me about in the first place. Because it is just what every guy needs. It is F3.

What is F3? Read about it here. It is basically freely organized groups of guys that get together in different places at different times for different things – but all centered around a workout, some quality fellowship, and open faith prayer and connection. The over-arching purpose is the invigoration of male community leadership – which is much needed in our society. Personally – F3 is an opportunity to push myself physically beyond what I will do in a gym. It’s an opportunity to open up and be real with kindred spirits about life – to both encourage and challenge each other. It’s an opportunity for us to openly and freely practice and share our faith regardless of what it is.

Not only does F3 give me an opportunity to share life with other men in a way that I greatly appreciate, it also gives me the opportunity to share these experiences with my 12 yr old son. In a world where, to a large degree digital screens have taken the place of the great outdoors, it is a blessing to see my son enjoying healthy community with good men. In a world where men’s ministry at churches is either non existent or the type of lameness young men laugh at, it is a joy to watch my son be pushed right along with me to be a stronger and better man.

Tell me where else you can go to get a free workout as great as the ones we do at F3, with as good of guys as the ones at F3, and with the mission of F3. It doesn’t exist – except for F3. So I challenge all my “real-man” friends – get your butt up and just try it at least one time. If the 64yr old man I saw last week can do it then you have no excuse, and if my 12yr old son can do it you have no excuse.

Our local group meets at the Anderson Civic Center on Saturdays at 7am and at the McCants Middle School football field at 5:30am on Wednesdays. Rain or shine – hot or cold – we will be there. All you need is your weather-appropriate workout clothes and maybe some gloves for doing pushups and stuff. Ask for “Crunchy” (that’s me) or “Reese’s Pieces” (my son) – so that the other guys know who you’re talking about.

As for my friend who invited me – thank you, and get your butt out there! See you in the gloom (aka early morning)!!

@F3Anderson Launch Day 10-18-14

Filed Under: Uncategorized