Anyone can create a plan for their finances, their fitness, their life… But only discipline can see the plan through to becoming reality.  Disciplining ourselves is so difficult, so we need a constant reminder of why the discipline is worth it.  Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  I know this is referring to struggles against sin, but the principle applies in general.

We’re coming up on another New Year.  That’s the time where everyone makes plans, or resolutions, of things they want to accomplish.  It doesn’t matter how detailed those goals and plans are if there is no discipline to stick to them.  I know I have been guilty countless times of falling off the discipline train.  Life gets in the way or milestones are missed for reasons outside my control.  Before I know it I’ve thrown my hands up in frustration and ultimately allowed a total lapse in discipline.  By the time I acknowledge it there is little hope the goals can be met.  If you’re human like me you can probably relate.

My plan for this coming year is to get my level of discipline back to where it once was in areas that I’ve allowed to slip.  I will have goals.  I will have detailed plans.  But this time there will be more boundaries to prevent life from getting in the way, and when it does there will be more attention to adapting the plan and maybe even adjusting the goal.

Let’s stop allowing frustration to lead to lost hope.  In order to experience the peace of knowing we’re fulfilling the plans God has for us we have to have the discipline he has called us to.

Leading is tough.  It’s not for everyone but it seems everyone wants to be a “leader”, and in church it isn’t that difficult to be given a leadership role in some form or fashion.  No one wants conflict, but in order to be a leader you have to embrace it.

The problem I see in church leadership is too much criticism among leaders and terrible processes for addressing and embracing it.  Leaders drift toward isolation to shield themselves from criticism until at best they’re no longer growing and at worst they’re failing miserably.

I believe a better way for church leaders to approach conflict amongst themselves is to think before speaking, and that process of thought might go something like this:

• Is this thought from God or Satan?  Is this matter I’m concerned about coming from the God of truth or the author of confusion – good or evil?
• Is my heart about this matter pure?  Am I hoping to truly help the other party or am I really just going to tear them down to gain something that somehow pleases a sinful nature?
• If roles were reversed would I want this brought to me?  If you were in the other person’s shoes would you want the matter or concern brought to your attention?
• How should I do this?  Should what you’re about to say or do be private or public.  Too often church leaders are lashing back and forth publicly without any personal interaction.
• Should I run this by someone else first?  Is there someone I can confide in about this matter to hear from their wisdom before I say or do anything else?

The flip side of being the initiator of conflict is being the recipient.  Leaders drift toward isolation by assuming criticism is a hater just hating rather than something we need to hear.  When someone brings something to our attention we should run it through a thought process that might go something like this:

• Is this thought from God or Satan?  Is this matter something that could help strengthen my leadership or something that could hinder what I’m trying to do for God?
• Does the person bringing this concern love Jesus and care about me?  If they do then they will bring the concern to you properly (which is usually privately), but they shouldn’t have to be on the senior staff, board, or one of our “yes” men for us to hear their concern.  Writing off a concern simply because someone doesn’t have a position or status can be a bad reason to ignore a potential problem.
• Should I run this by someone else who loves Jesus and cares about me?  If we are truly a leader with any amount of influence then we should have at least one other person we can confide in to discuss the concern and get an honest second opinion.

Notice the initiator list is longer than the recipient list.  It would do us all a lot of good to question our initiation more than our participation when conflict arises.

Over the last several years I’ve adopted and continue to develop what I consider to be one of the greatest core values I’ve ever applied to my life – Keep It Real.  It’s pretty self explanatory – just be real, and I’m working on it and expecting it from others more and more all the time.

The reason that is so important to me now is I’ve grown to realize that being fake and playing games is not God’s best for us or those around us.  We’re supposed to share each others burdens and seek wisdom from others around us, but all too often we put on a front as though everything is ok in our life and we certainly don’t look to others as much as we should for advice (because that’s the same as admitting we don’t know everything).  Then there’s my most favorite type of game-playing where status or authority are used to manipulate others in a way that is somehow supposed to provide some form of superiority or advantage…  We all can only hope such ridiculousness is short lived and causes minimal pain before those of us who act this way realize where we’re wrong.

Many have heard me tell how Shawna and I weren’t keeping it real about how broke we were financially until it was a mess we couldn’t control.  We would be really vague with our statements, saying things such as, “Y’all can pray for us because things are tight right now”, when the reality of the situation was we were BROKE!  I believe God had us go through the humiliating experience of having foreclosure paperwork delivered to our house while all our church friends were there to completely break our pride.

We all do it.  Someone asks, “How are you?”, and the response is “fine” or “great” or maybe something like “blessed” or everyone’s new Dave Ramsey favorite “better than I deserve”.  I love Dave Ramsey but that phrase is often used as just another mask for what people really want to say, which is “my life sucks right now because of ____ and I need someone to pray for me and offer me advice”.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for focusing on the positive and being thankful in all things and acknowledging that we truly are blessed just to have life, but sometimes, especially in the company of people we share life with, we SHOULD be putting our prideful disguises aside and just KEEP IT REAL!