Why I’m Not Refinancing My Mortgage…Again

mortgage interest refinance

For many people refinancing the mortgage is something they should SERIOUSLY consider.  Interest rates are at all time lows lately, and with the housing market starting to rebound interest rates will soon begin to rebound upward as well.  Two days in a row I got an offer from the bank to refinance my mortgage, and I posted something on social media about it not being a good deal that seemed to cause a little debate about cash flow and investing (debate taken down now – wasn’t productive).  So I’d like to clarify what my intentions were and my personal position on cash flow and investing particularly as it relates to home ownership.

First, every persons situation is different with regard to their mortgage, their monthly cash needs, their investment strategy (which involves risk tolerance), etc.  I’m not an investment advisor but I’m pretty sure they evaluate a persons unique circumstances and preferences before advising.  So – I’m just sharing my unique circumstances and preferences, not advising.

The reason I would say “not a good deal” for me is because the offer I received was suggesting I take more monthly cash flow now in return for paying more long term interest (a lower interest rate for a longer period of time is more total dollars in this case).  So all I was doing is sharing that the offer isn’t a good deal…for me.

(Keep in mind our story.  We almost lost our house when times were tough and were fortunate enough to get a re-do with the mortgage company at the end of 2006.  So I have a special perspective for the house being a basic survival need rather than an investment vehicle.  I know we could rent or live in a tent, but it would be way more awesome if we had a paid for house.)

I already refinanced back in 2010 from 6.72% down to 3.875% and moved from a 30 year mortgage with 26 years left down to a 15 year mortgage.  My payment went up only $8 per month to do this and I shaved 11 years off the payoff.  That’s exciting enough, but what really cemented this decision for me was the difference in long term interest is a LOT less.  So that deal made sense for me.  The new offer was basically asking me to go back in the other direction – back to a 30 year mortgage, lowering my payment by $380 per month, but paying more long term b/c of all the 12 additional years of payments.

The possible reasons for taking a deal that extends the loan to improve monthly cash flow are countless.

  • “What if you need that extra money every month to pay bills?”  At least for now and the foreseeable future that isn’t the case for me, but if it were then that’s a factor to consider.
  • “What if you invested that extra money every month and earned more than the mortgage interest and reduced tax credit?”  I already save and invest with a fairly balanced approach (for my risk tolerance) and my house is one of my safe investments (although I don’t think of it that way very often).
  • “What if you’re upside down on your house?”  I’m not, but if I were then I would take in to consideration whether or not a losing investment is worth paying on faster (but I am in no way whatsoever saying it’s ok to walk away from homes that are upside down – there are moral options available for those situations)
  • etc etc etc – I could go on and on and the fact of the matter is everyone has to evaluate their own situation to determine what’s best for them.

Here’s why I’d rather keep my payment where it is and finish paying off my house faster rather than freeing up monthly cash.

  • We’re not upside down on our house, so every dollar I pay down is another dollar of equity.  It’s not going up in value the way houses were before, but I’m not as concerned with that as I am having a roof over my family’s head.  The closer I can get to having a paid for house the better chance I have of never facing the prospect of being homeless or paying rent – forever!  We don’t plan on moving either and we’ve learned to be content with our modest home.
  • I don’t think of my house as a short term investment – it’s a long term investment.  And like I said above I don’t think of my house so much that way.  The truth is people thinking of houses as a 3-5 year investment is what caused a housing bubble to get real big and pop in the first place.  Keeping it even more real let’s ask the question – were most people buying houses they couldn’t afford at the peak of the housing market (with economists saying there’s a bubble about to burst) as a sound investment or as a sinful and prideful desire to satisfy some craving for material possessions or status?
  • I’m doing ok month to month with my giving, saving, and investing goals and living a modestly comfortable lifestyle.  So we don’t NEED the extra monthly cash flow right now.  Let’s just be real and admit that most of us wouldn’t save/invest it anyway.  We would spend it on stuff we don’t need to impress people we don’t like (or they don’t like us), or worse yet to fill a sad void in our life that stuff will never fill.  
  • I’m saving at least a little bit for our kids college and planning to have the house paid off before they go so that we can float some of the cost of college with the money we’ll no longer be paying on the mortgage.  This is a conservative approach, but I feel that I more than make up for it with other risk in my life and investments.

Ok, enough on this.  Hopefully it helps someone see that every situation is not the same.  We all have to at least educate ourselves on a general level about the options available so that we can devise a strategy that works for us.  As for me and my house – we’re hoping to lose the mortgage sooner than later.

PS – I will not be posting this on social media, but I welcome comments here and will respond if you prefer to email me directly via the contact link 🙂

Keep It Real

Over the last several years I’ve adopted and continue to develop what I consider to be one of the greatest core values I’ve ever applied to my life – Keep It Real.  It’s pretty self explanatory – just be real, and I’m working on it and expecting it from others more and more all the time.

The reason that is so important to me now is I’ve grown to realize that being fake and playing games is not God’s best for us or those around us.  We’re supposed to share each others burdens and seek wisdom from others around us, but all too often we put on a front as though everything is ok in our life and we certainly don’t look to others as much as we should for advice (because that’s the same as admitting we don’t know everything).  Then there’s my most favorite type of game-playing where status or authority are used to manipulate others in a way that is somehow supposed to provide some form of superiority or advantage…  We all can only hope such ridiculousness is short lived and causes minimal pain before those of us who act this way realize where we’re wrong.

Many have heard me tell how Shawna and I weren’t keeping it real about how broke we were financially until it was a mess we couldn’t control.  We would be really vague with our statements, saying things such as, “Y’all can pray for us because things are tight right now”, when the reality of the situation was we were BROKE!  I believe God had us go through the humiliating experience of having foreclosure paperwork delivered to our house while all our church friends were there to completely break our pride.

We all do it.  Someone asks, “How are you?”, and the response is “fine” or “great” or maybe something like “blessed” or everyone’s new Dave Ramsey favorite “better than I deserve”.  I love Dave Ramsey but that phrase is often used as just another mask for what people really want to say, which is “my life sucks right now because of ____ and I need someone to pray for me and offer me advice”.

Don’t get me wrong I’m all for focusing on the positive and being thankful in all things and acknowledging that we truly are blessed just to have life, but sometimes, especially in the company of people we share life with, we SHOULD be putting our prideful disguises aside and just KEEP IT REAL!

I’m Ok With Expensive Divorce

There’s this saying I’ve borrowed many times that goes like this, “Marriage is grand, but divorce is a hundred grand.”  Well, I’m sad to come to the realization that statement not really true.

I’ve always been under the impression that by the time you go through the legal process, divide up everything, and pay any alimony or child support that might be involved that divorce would cost many thousands of dollars.  But billboards along the highway have now educated me differently.  Several months ago I saw one that advertised divorce for like $299.  It was in a very small country town so my initial thought seriously was that’s either a broke lawyer or dumb lawyer that for whatever reason chose to be a lawyer here rather than somewhere with more people.

But then just the other day I saw another billboard that advertised divorce for $499 with an added keyword in the message – “uncontested”.  Now it all began to make sense to me.  Couples are filing for divorce and as long as it is uncontested the lawyers can just churn through them at a rate that justifies paying for large billboards (not cheap) to advertise those cheap prices.

A few years ago I read an article about how couples were holding off filing for divorce because they either couldn’t afford it while the economy was bad or because they were waiting for the value of their assets to bounce back so that they’d be worth more in divorce.  I suppose now that housing is on the rise again and the stock market is moving up again that couples are making their move and calling it quits thus increasing demand for divorce lawyers.

So, if you’re tracking what all I’ve said so far here are…

Three Divorce Business Dynamics Destroying The Institution of Marriage

  1. Demand for divorce seems to be increasing.
  2. Lawyers are conducting divorces for very cheap, even incentivizing couples for making it easy.
  3. Couples are just giving up, not contesting, not fighting for their marriage.

What is going on?  Why aren’t couples fighting to save their marriage?  Why are lawyers willing to take such low fees for divorce filing?  Please lawyers – I’m ok with the cost of divorce being very high.  Please raise it!  There will still be some divorce cases and fewer cases will actually make the job easier, and if the fee is high enough it will offset the lost opportunity of all the cases that will become saved marriages.  There will still be a way to become the stereotypical dirty and greedy lawyer, just without taking down so many peoples lives in the process.  Try being the “good” lawyer that gives people an incentive to save their marriage.

Fight people!  Marriage is not something you just pay a few hundred bucks to dispose of.  Why don’t couples spend a few hundred bucks on counseling first?  In fact, I bet most people know someone that loves them enough and wants them to save their marriage that they will pay for the $499 divorce if the couple will try $499 for counseling first.  Try something, try ANYTHING before going down to the nearest drive through divorce lawyer.

Please DON’T GIVE UP!  Marriage is worth fighting for.

So Predictable

Some things are so predictable aren’t they?  I know that Christmas is going to happen this year on December 25th – so predictable.  I know everyone’s birthday is going to happen on the same day this year as every other year.  I know we’ll probably try to take some sort of vacation at some point this year.  I know the odds are very high that at least one totally unexpected event will happen this year.

The great thing about all that predictability in my life is I can plan for it and do everything in my power to be prepared for it.  Rather than ignore those things until they’re upon me, or let them just “slip my mind”, I can be intentional.  With all this predictability there’s no reason to ever have to use a credit card to pay for those things.

The only problem is it takes work and discipline to do this type of preparation.  There’s always a catch huh – we can’t just give everyone a money tree.  Stop whining and get busy!

What To Do When A Budget Category Doesn’t Get Spent

Have you ever faced this challenge?  You get to the end of the month and there is a budget category or two that didn’t get all spent.  That’s a good challenge to have because it means there is actually money left over at the end of the month.

Keep in mind I’m a saver so my biased opinion is to put extra money towards a savings goal or debt payment.  If you don’t have an emergency fund in place that’s probably the best thing you could do with any extra money, but that’s the saver in me talking.  If all the debt is payed off except the house then I might even do something crazy like put extra towards the house payment.  Those are saver-minded ideas.

The spenders are revolting as they read those ideas.  They want to spend it on something, anything other than holding it in an account or putting it towards debt that could always wait another month to get paid down (the procrastispender – I just made that up – trademark).  They would rather blow it all at a single expensive restaurant than see it put behind bars in a bank.

See how this could cause a problem?  Everyone is going to choose a little differently what they do with any budgeted funds that are not yet spent at the end of the month.

Shawna and I did the dining out thing with leftover funds for a while, as long as it wasn’t a ridiculous amount of money.  One couple we know actually started transferring the extra discretionary funds into a separate account for the spender to do whatever they want with it.  Another approach might be to roll the extra funds into the next month to spend more on whatever the particular budget category is the following month (this is still a lot like saving but might be a good compromise for discretionary categories).  Maybe you have a shared plan, hope, or dream that can be contributed to with the extra funds (like a giving goal or a Disney Vacation).

Whatever you choose to do with the extra I would challenge you to consider whether or not adjustments are needed in the budget.  If the extra funds are from a fixed category then that needs to be adjusted on the budget.  If the extra funds are from a discretionary category challenge yourselves to reduce that category to what you really intend to spend.

How do you manage extra money at the end of a budget?

How Many Gold Stars Do You Have?

gold-star“Am I gonna get like a gold star or something?”  That’s what someone recently said to me after they had made some progress towards some of the goals I helped them plan for.  I didn’t have any gold stars but I did give a pat on the back and an atta-boy

Shawna and I love Starbucks stars.  We go there more often than we used to now that we have one in Anderson, SC (don’t worry – we fit it in our budget and it’s probably not as much as you think).

Recently I took notice of some of the details of the star program.  One star is earned per transaction.  The stars expire each year on the anniversary of the date the card was registered, and with 30 stars comes gold status.  So if you let too much time pass you lose your stars.

We’d probably consider it childish or insulting for our spouse to literally give us gold stars, but whether we admit it or not that’s what we do – give each other stars.  For every act of love there’s a star awarded, and accumulating a certain amount of them gives us happy status.  The biggest challenge is doing enough acts of love to keep the stars from expiring so we don’t lose the happy status.

So – how many gold stars do you have?  Are you happy status right now?

Merry Christmas 2012

Congratulations!

The stories we hear from time to time about people becoming self made and self driven miraculous successes always fascinate and inspire me.  But when I think about those stories and dig a little deeper in to them I can almost always find where some relational value in every persons life contributed to that success.  Really when we think about it none of us are “self made” successes because any amount of success we’ve had in our life has to involve someone else in some way.  Many many examples are coming to mind right now, but I’ll just share a few of my own.

  • I love sports.  When I was young I played sports – constantly.  I practiced hard, really hard. I sweated.  I bled.  When others were in bed sleeping I was inflicting pain on my body so that I would be a better athlete.  I was recognized for success as an athlete.
  • I love music.  When I was young I played trumpet – constantly.  I practiced really hard.  I studied music and repeated challenging pieces over and over.  When others were sleeping I was in early morning band class improving my skill.  I was recognized for success as a musician.
  • I love learning.  I did decent in both high school and college as a student athlete and musician.  But when I look back on it I just love learning things I find interesting and fun if only for a season.  I studied, a lot, in the wee hours of the night.  I was recognized for success as a student.
  • I’m analytical.  My first job after college was an engineering-level job that grew from finding problems and improving them to running most of the daily production decisions from raw material to customer delivery of the supply chain.  I worked hard long hours, dealing with people who didn’t always like me because of my position and decisions I had to make.  I was recognized for success as an employee.
  • I’m relational.  My second career job has been in sales because I like getting to know new people and I like helping people.  I knew nothing about the printing industry so I worked long hours and traveled all week long in the beginning.  Some years have been better than others, but generally speaking I’ve had a great deal of success in sales and serving my customers.
  • I love ministry.  When I was younger you couldn’t have paid me to say that because of all the heartache I experienced as a preachers kid, but now that I’m older I really do love ministry.  The greatest ministry work I’ve ever gotten to do is financial coaching at my church as well as teaching and speaking for I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. at other churches.  The more I do it the better I get and I’m still learning and growing.  I see people making life changing choices that indicate success, but I can’t even say this is my success because it’s God’s success and I’m just honored to be part of it.

I could go on and on – how about these most important ones…

  • I’m a husband and father.  So far it has been 12 years of learning, growing, and some of the most confusing and difficult work a man will ever do – building a thriving marriage.  Raising kids is the biggest impact anyone can have on the future for generations to come, and it’s one of the hardest things anyone will ever do.  It’s worth every heartache, frustration, and sacrifice to work at having a good marriage and raising kids.  I don’t believe we can ever “arrive” at some level of relationship success but I can confidently say that I consider the progress of my marriage a success, and my kids are at least still alive.

Do you see all the I’s that start all those paragraphs?  I could take all the credit for everything good in my life.  Even if I know in my heart that I could never have accomplished anything on my own, I could always talk like all that’s great about my life is all because of me and all about me.  It would be incredibly self righteous, self centered, and repulsive of me if all anyone ever heard from me is “I’ve done this and I’ve done that and I’m so awesome”.  That’s why I want to remind myself and everyone who reads this to be thankful for the relationships in your life that have helped you have any amount of success there is in your life.

My parents invested countless amounts of time and money in me playing sports and music.  They believed in my ability and invested heavily to see me thrive in those things.  My bosses put money on the line to pay me with nothing more than an informed belief that I would perform what they were paying me to do.  My friends in ministry have entrusted me to not blow up their ministry by failing morally and hindering the belief of people we’re trying to impact.  My wife said yes when she thought she knew what she was getting in to.  She has continued to say yes as we’ve grown through many trials and experienced much joy.  My kids still love me despite all my imperfections and they can’t even begin to understand how much they help me learn about myself and grow.

So I want to encourage you to do what I’m doing right now.  I’m taking a moment to thank everyone in my life who has believed in me, invested in me, and stuck with me.  I’m not thanking them for making me so awesome or for their part in my success.  It’s easy to do that and it still feeds self, so I’m choosing a little different approach.  I’m congratulating everyone for their success and thanking them for being a success.  They’ll know it impacted me without me talking about myself.

If you’re reading this I’d like to start with you.  I don’t know you all personally but I want to congratulate you for your success and thank you for being successful at everything you do.  You Rock!

The Prosecution Rests

Arguing is a great skill to have… if you’re a lawyer.  I’m told that my Papa (grandpa on Mom’s side) was on track to become a lawyer until he met Grandma, fell in love, and went the family route.  I bet Papa could argue a pretty strong case .  When he was passionate about something he spoke so strongly and with so much conviction about it.  Some of those arguing abilities might have made it down to me.  I was on track to become President before I met Shawna, fell in love, and chose the family route.  President of what, I don’t know.  But I’m sure it would have been something amazing.

The difference between arguments in marriage and arguments in court is there is no jury or judge, so you’re like a defendant making your case to the plaintiff and hoping they change their mind about wanting to throw you in jail.  You’ve already lost before you began because if they were going to agree with you there wouldn’t be anything to argue.  So emotions escalate along with vocal volume and tears until one or both of you are hurt and angry.

So what can you do to resolve money related conflicts (or any conflict in marriage for that matter)?

Listen

Shut mouth and open ears.  Even the best defense lawyers have to listen to opposing statements in order to understand where the opposing counsel is going with the case.  Too often when conflict arises we jump to defense mode thinking that our spouse is now the opposing counsel and we have to strengthen our case to defeat them.  How about this idea – our spouse is not the enemy.  They are our partner – on the same team.  They are guilty as charged of whatever point of view they have that is in opposition to our own.  Now we have to find a way to work with it.

Work Towards Compromise

When we accept that we’re on the same team with no case to win the only option is to accept a plea bargain – together.  The plea bargain must be something that benefits both spouses.  One spouse wants to save for X while the other wants to spend on Y & Z.  Why can’t you do both?  Usually we think we can’t do both because we’re impatient and working towards both goals at the same time will take longer.  Why isn’t that ok?

I’d rather accept a plea bargain with my spouse any day than end up on opposite sides of the courtroom against my spouse – fighting a real legal battle that in the end no one comes out a winner.  How about you?

What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want To Tithe?

At a recent Financial Learning Experience a lady came to me with a heavy heart with a very serious question, “What if my husband doesn’t want to tithe but I do?  Wow!  Tough question.  Many couples are faced with this same challenge, and it seems to me it’s usually the man who doesn’t want to tithe.

When the I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. team is teaching we approach the subject of tithing from a Psalm 24:1, Matthew 25:14-28, Malachi 3:8-10 (and other verses) point of view.  We make it our mission to talk a lot more about the 90% than the 10%, but when we’re talking about the 10% our position is God owns it all, we’re just managers, we should bring the tithe to the church (God’s house) as an act of worship and  faith in Him and belief that He will continue to provide.  Our heart should be with Him – the provider, not our money or possessions – the provision.

We also strongly believe the Ephesians 5:21-33 principle that husbands and wives should love and respect each other.  There is extra emphasis in those verses about the “husband being the head” that confuses us when it comes to real world application.  The scripture also states “the two become one” when married (also stated in other places like Mark 10:8).  I’ve heard it said that the man might be the head but the woman is the body – which includes the neck that turns the head.

With love and respect for each other as the foundation for everything, husbands and wives are supposed to be on the same page – making decisions together – including financial decisions.  There should be total transparency in every area of life.  Many couples deal with disagreements regarding the tithe (or other money management decisions) by treating their resources as “his” and “hers” rather than “ours”.  Some married people (usually wives) tithe without their spouse knowing so that they can have the peace that they’re being obedient to the word and the hope that they won’t have to address the point of disagreement with their spouse.  My question would be, “how’s that working for you?”

I really do believe this is the approach couples should take to get on the same page with tithing.

Tithing Together

  • Talk – Not talking about it won’t accomplish anything.  Nagging about it won’t accomplish anything.  The first goal should be to at least agreeing to sit down together, with love and respect, to ask each other questions that get to the heart of the matter.  Is one spouse upset with God, the church, their spouse, their financial situation?  What is the root cause leading one spouse to not want to tithe?  Remember – love and respect with total transparency.
  • Pray – When total transparency is out on the table you need to pray, together, asking God to help you both learn and grow through the concerns that are present – ask for wisdom and guidance – ask that you will both be drawn closer to each other and to Him in the process – and that your decisions will be honored as you learn together how to honor God with His finances.
  • Read the Word (together) – Notice everything is TOGETHER.  Sit down and read the word.  Let it provide wisdom and guidance for your decisions to give, not give, to compromise showing love and respect to each other.
  • Watch God Work – God will work in your situation in ways you will never have control over trying to fix it all yourself.

Don’t expect your spouse to just change their mind immediately. It might take time.  The goal of the conversation should be to lovingly and respectfully flesh out important issues that may need to be addressed through prayer and study that can eventually lead you both to a point where you can enjoy tithing together.

That list might seem so cliche, but if this is a struggle in your marriage have you tried them?  Have you done it with love and respect in your heart?  At the end of the day all of this is a heart issue – the whole situation.  Let God work on your hearts, but you have to be seeking him.

I know this all assumes both spouses are believers.  Maybe I’ll post again about what to do if one spouse is not a believer.