Understanding WHY?

The question “why?” is asked at our house a lot because we have three small children.  But I’ve noticed we don’t ask “why” enough as adults.  Sometimes we just want to shake the kids and say “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”.  We’ve told them WHAT to do and don’t want them to focus on understanding WHY.  By the time we’re adults we’re conditioned to not ask why but inside we’re still wondering and we’d really like answers.  Sometimes a healthy respect for authority is a good lesson to teach, but what I’m talking about is when a healthy understanding of WHY would improve the chances of the WHAT happening.  

As leaders of people (bosses, teachers, etc) we might tend to give direction without providing full understanding of “why”.  It is just easier to tell someone to do something and not explain to them why it is important or what a difference it will make.  The boss gets frustrated because they feel like they’re constantly having to remind people to do something.  Sometimes the problem might be the boss doesn’t have a good reason or explanation for what they’re telling people to do.  But that’s another discussion.  
When I’m teaching personal finance principles I’ll talk about reducing debt or saving and I tend to give people a list of actions they can take or a process they should follow, but I don’t do a great job diving in to the “why” for doing the things I suggest.  Three months later when they haven’t made any progress I scratch my head wondering……”why”.  
People know WHAT they’re supposed to do, but they might lack understanding the motivating WHY they should do it.  We need to stress the WHY as much as the WHAT more often than we do.  A person might be more willing to do a “pointless” daily report if they understand the report is actually one that could validate the need for their job or get them a raise.  (The motivation needs to be positive by the way).  A person might be more willing to become disciplined with their personal finances if they know and understand the goals and dreams they have for their life that will be positively affected by financial discipline.  Knowing the WHY helps us endure the WHAT.  
Do you have any examples of when you should be giving a better WHY explanation or a question of WHY you’d like a leader/boss to answer for you about a particular thing?  Get an understanding of why and remind yourself of it often so that you are willing to do the what diligently. 

Under Suspicion – Movie Quotes

Recently I watched the movie Under Suspicion.  I’ve always enjoyed watching movies, but it seems the more life experience I get the more I pick up on things I hear in movies that are good truths or realities in life.  Here are some quotes I thought were very interesting and true in the movie.

  • “We tolerate when a celebrity or star athlete achieves great success and wealth, but when it is one of our own we feel like some injustice has occurred.”
  • “Jealousy is all the fun you think somebody else is having.”
Aren’t those so true?  We’re ok with people we don’t know being successful, but when someone we know and feel “equal” to becomes successful we get jealous.  It is our selfish nature, the same selfish nature that causes us to “keep up with the Jones”.  
If you are one that has risen to a place of leadership or success you might have been the target of some of the jealousy.  I could write an entire series on humility and I hope you have it, but chances are if you’ve succeeded at anything then there is someone who silently or blatantly wishes you hadn’t and would like to hold you back.  For most people it is as simple as a naysayer who seems to always doubt your ability to accomplish something.  They might not even mean to do it, but they do.  Watch out for these people because subtle or not they can crush your dreams. 

Start By Working With What You Have

When I help I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. teach personal finance I hear questions like these:

  • “What if I don’t have money?”
  • “How do I budget on disability?”
  • “How do I budget on unemployment?”

Normally the person asking one of these questions is looking for an excuse to continue making poor decisions, refusing to make sacrifices, or to just plain feel sorry for themselves.  Every time I am approached with one of these questions I think of people I have coached.

A lady bringing home $750 per month has found a way for her and her son to live on that.  A couple with no more room in their budget found a way to make up the $350 per month gap by turning a hobby into a small income stream.  A person years behind on taxes finds the courage to open the statements and make the calls.  A person with 50 years of debt payments ahead of them becomes determined to do what they can and pray for a miracle.

I don’t take the ‘woe is me’ mentality from people who aren’t willing to do what they’re capable of where they’re at rather than hoping something will just happen to get them what they want without their effort.  Show me what you’re willing to do for yourself and I’ll help you see what can be accomplished with what you have.

Lesson From the Biggest Loser About Saying No

Shawna and I like to watch the Biggest Loser.  It has something to do with life change and we all somewhere inside want to be healthier people no matter what our weight.  I heard an interesting comment on the show the other week that caught my attention.

One of the contestants said something like “Saying no to junk food is saying yes to myself” and they were referring to the positive health benefit.  It struck me as a very strong statement.  Think about that for a minute and consider all the things we could put in that sentence in the place of junk food.

  • Saying no to the brand new car, or house, or boat, or whatever THING is saying yes to my future financial position.
  • Saying no to watching 4 hours of TV per night is saying yes to more quality family time.
  • Saying no to porn or facebook is saying yes to relationship with spouse.
  • Saying no to “me time” is saying yes to having time for God.

Anything you put in the place of the no and yes position is ultimately a benefit to you.  It is a discipline issue.

What other ways can you think of to make a no a yes for our own good?

Back In The Blogging Saddle

After much hesitation I have decided to re-open this blog to the public.  Near the end of 2008 I had been blogging regularly for about 2 years, but unfortunately I had started posting things I should have filtered through a brain cell and kept to myself – mostly about politics.  I didn’t want this to be one of ‘those’ blogs, so I took it completely offline with the goal of rethinking how I would do this.

Several months ago I started re-posting everything worth keeping from the old blog.  I’ve written a few new posts but until today I have kept the blog private so that no one could read it.  That is really dumb I know, but I didn’t want to be hasty with this again.  Ultimately I’ve decided that the stuff I want to write is not going to help anyone if I’m keeping it to myself, so here it is open for reading again.

I’m still undecided about whether or not I should come up with a relevant domain other than my name.  Maybe anyone who reads this can help with that.  In the meantime I guess with a domain like markasbell.com maybe I’ll keep the writing relevant to who I actually am.

Thanks for reading.  

What People Think About You

Have you ever heard the advice “you can’t worry about what other people think”?  Have you ever known someone who actually SHOULD think at least a little bit about what other people think?  I think the advice to “not worry about what other people think” has been taken way out of context by too many people. 

Some people are so oblivious to flaws in their personality and behavior that they need to be told the exact opposite of “don’t worry about what others think”.  Some people need to be asked “do you have any idea what people think about you when you —- ?” (insert obnoxious trait in the blank).

The people who really kill me are the ones who talk so much about others flaws and yet are completely oblivious to their own.  It is especially astounding when such an individual talks about a ‘problem’ someone else has when they happen to have THE SAME EXACT PROBLEM!

Now that I’ve said all this about ‘those’ people I guess I’ll have to spend some time thinking about how my actions and behavior are perceived by others too.  Don’t judge me for saying all this – instead take a moment to consider what people think about you.

It is good to evaluate and improve ourselves based on what others think.  It is not good to be so consumed with worry about what others think that we become fearful of being who we’re called to be.  Knowing the difference is a valuable skill.

Where’s The Adventure?

In going to work every day to earn enough money to pay the mortgage, insurance, dance lessons, cub scouts, and cell phone bill?

In being spoon-fed your whole life, never knowing what it is like to wonder how you will pay for your next meal?

In going to the beach every year for your 1 or 2 weeks off from the job you’ve had for years?

In never seeing new places or experiencing new things?

In living life alone, without a spouse or family or friends to share life with?

In living life without God, depending on him for our every need, spreading his gospel every chance we get?

My Simple Car Buying Strategy

In this post I went over some numbers that illustrate the favorable odds of gambling on used car purchases.  That was just an example using averages.  Now I’m going to share five of my real-life car buying scenarios as I’ve bought and sold cars for my wife and I.

1995 Mitsubishi Galant

Purchase price = $6000 (bought it on a payment plan)

Mileage at time of purchase = 60,000

Mileage at time of sale = 170,000

Approximate repairs over entire time driving = $500

Months we drove this vehicle = 84

Cost per month = $77

We hated this car but it ran great without giving us any trouble.  I sold it to a college kid for $1000.

1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee

Purchase price = $12,000 (bought it on a payment plan)

Mileage at time of purchase = 80,000

Mileage at time of sale = 205,000

Approximate repairs over entire time driving = $1500

Months I drove this vehicle = 60

Cost per month = $225

I loved this vehicle.  It was loaded and so nice, but I bought it on payments which wasn’t wise  It didn’t cost much in repairs over the life of it but because I paid so much for it the cost per month is a little high for my liking.  I sold this vehicle to a college kid for $1850 when it needed a fuel pump.

2000 Dodge Grand Caravan

Price = $3000

Mileage at time of purchase = 130,000

Mileage at time of sale = 225,000

Approximate repairs = $1000

Months driven = 72

Cost per month = $56

This is one of the most reliable minivans ever and the model year 2000 was THE most reliable year for this make/model of van.  We got such a great deal on this vehicle.  When it started giving us transmission trouble we gave it away to someone who wanted it.

2000 Cadillac Catera

Price = $5000

Mileage at time of purchase = 105,000

Still driving this vehicle.

Approximate repairs = $2500

Months driven = 65 so far

Cost per month = $115

This has been a good vehicle with luxuries that aren’t necessary but are nice to have.  It has cost quite a bit in repairs so I’ve learned the hard way that luxury-name vehicles are more expensive to keep up.  I’m still driving this car and plan to drive it a lot longer.  It is still a nice car – not perfect – but I like it.

2004 Mercury Monterey

Price = $5000

Mileage at time of purchase = 108,000

Still driving this vehicle.

Approximate repairs = $1000

Months driven = 10 so far

Cost per month = $600

We really like this van.  It is loaded with nice luxuries we weren’t used to having with our first minivan.  We’ve only had it for 10 months and it has already cost us a considerable amount for repairs, but I believe we will make up that cost with many months of no repairs.  At least that is what we’re praying for.

So here is My Car Buying Strategy:

  • Look for vehicles 3-5 years old with approximately 100k miles
    • Most of the depreciation has already occurred
    • 100k miles in 5 yrs usually means the vehicle got a lot of highway miles which is better than the wear and tear of stop-and-go city miles.
    • If there are no obvious signs of problems with the vehicle the chances of winning on a cost-per-month basis are pretty good for a vehicle that is 5yrs old.
  • Look for the $5000 or less price range.
    • There are a lot of decent vehicles at 5yrs old & 100k miles for a $5000 price range.
    • It is easier to find these deals buying from individuals rather than dealerships or used car lots.
  • ALWAYS research reliability and car history.
    • I prefer Edmunds.com for reliability.  KBB.com is also a good place to do research.  It is amazing to me how reliability ratings for the same make of car can be drastically worse from one year model to the next because of design changes.
    • Carfax.com is worth the investment.  If you’re going to shop pretty serious for a month or two it is worth it to go ahead and pay for unlimited reports for a month or two.  Look for red flags such as wrecks, flood damage, major breakdowns, and routine service records.

My approach isn’t rocket-science but it is simple enough for even a normal busy person to do.  The bottom line is have a plan/guidelines for your purchase, and have the discipline to stick to the plan.

The Used Car Gamble

Years ago I resolved to never buy a brand new car, and that has been one of the smartest financial decisions I have ever made.  So many people have the mis-perception that having a car payment is a necessary way of life, and that is just not true.

The number one argument against buying used is that the repair costs add up to the amount that would have been paid for a new car.  I don’t know a single person who has had that happen.

Here is a table of average auto repairs from Auto Warranty Group.

The worst case scenario if EVERYTHING on a car breaks is $12,652 of total repairs.  Let’s say a good used car is drivable for five years, or 60 months (which is a short length of time for a car loan these days).  That is only $211 per month of car repairs for five years even if EVERYTHING breaks.  By the way, I don’t know anyone who has had everything on the list break on one car in a 5yr period.

What about the actual cost of the car – right?  That has to be added to the $211 monthly outgo to have a realistic picture of what driving a used car would cost.  Obviously that number depends on how much is paid. The average American car payment is between $380 & $460 per month (new AND used car loans).  Let’s just say we’re buying an average car so we’re going to see how much car we can get and still be on the low end of the average car payment per month.  After actually buying the car AND paying for EVERYTHING to break here is how much we can spend and still stay ahead of the average American car payment:

Personally I don’t even want to be on the low end of the average American car payment because $380 per month for 40 yrs is a large retirement.  People look at me crazy when I tell them what my personal car buying strategy is and I just simply tell them I’m still winning the gamble I’ve chosen to take driving used cars instead of new.  More on my personal car buying strategy in another post.

Friends – Don’t Hurt Each Other…At Least Not On Purpose

Yesterday I think I nearly broke my friends ribs.  We were playing basketball at the end of our workout (something we do all the time).  As we both went for a loose ball I somehow went under his arm from behind and drilled him in the rib cage with my shoulder.  


He went down immediately – moaning and groaning about his ribs and he think they cracked.  He was feeling it the rest of the day but kept acting like he was fine.  I feel horrible about it.  He is planning on running a 10k next week and that accident will probably cause him more pain during the race than he would have had otherwise.  


I didn’t mean to do it.  It was an accident.  But I can’t take it back.  The damage is done.  In this case it physical damage.  But isn’t it true that sometimes we hurt our friends emotionally or they hurt us emotionally?  I’ve hurt friends feelings before just by having other friends.  That was totally unintentional.  I’ve also hurt friends’ feelings by backing out on commitments I made to do something with them.  That is the emotional equivalent of walking up to my friend and physically punching him in the face while we were playing basketball.  


We all make mistakes though – right?  The important thing is to learn from them and change the behavior moving forward.  The strongest friendships survive the mistakes along the way.