Have I told anyone that I love my pastor?? He hits the nail on the head with almost everything he says. If you are in ministry or know anyone in ministry (that would include probably everyone who reads this) then I dare you to read this blog and/or refer it to others in ministry. I double dog dare you…
Blue Thunder
November 21, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Soccer season is over. We (Blue Thunder) had our awards banquet last week. It was a great joy watching 12 kids all under six years old learn to play and love the game of soccer. They made it so much fun. Their parents made it so much easier with their support (I was so afraid I would have conflicts with parents, but everyone was great). My assistant coach and his wife, Ray & Mandy Orzechowski, were a tremendous help in every way. And last but not least my amazing wife was so helpful and especially tolerant of me throughout the season when I would sometimes spend hours tuning out the real world because I was thinking about soccer.
The coaching experience has taught me a few things and brought back parts of me that I had lost touch with. I learned new things about dealing with a group of small children. Being patient and remembering that they’re kids and letting them have a good time sums it up. I learned new things about working with other parents and coaches. I learned new things about leadership and character.
Some things I learned because I have children. Some things I learned by watching other parents. Some things I learned from other coaches (good or bad).
I’ll go ahead and get it out about the bad coaches – and I want to do it like I’m talking to them because some stuff really ticks me off. First of all, the rules are written in plain English, so read and follow them correctly – if you need help interpreting them I have a pretty strong command of the English language. Second thing, the kids’ safety is most important, so tame that brat who is intentionally knocking everybody down or put him on the sideline. I had an aggressive player too and I could have put him toe to toe with anybody to “teach a lesson”, but it was more important to show him how to focus his energy on playing with skill and sportsmanship. Last but not least, the kids are four and five, so stop yelling at them condescendingly. Some of you are acting like these kids are playing for the high school championship already. High school kids will play even if their coach is a butthole because they love the game. Four and five year olds will never learn to love the game if you don’t shut your stupid mouth. You wouldn’t get away with talking to my four year old the way I saw some of you doing. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Now back to something more positive. The good coaches were patient with the kids, allowing them to have fun over winning. (We weren’t supposed to “keep score” because an emphasis on winning or losing isn’t that important at four and five years old. I used to not agree with this, but I understand now because half of my team either couldn’t keep track of the score or thought they won by being the individual who actually kicked it in. So we didn’t focus on score. But between me, the other dads, and the kids who did understand – we were 7-1-2 for the season – that’s really good). The good coaches were effective teaching the kids how to play by doing the right drills and exercises. The best coaches taught their team sportsmanship and love of the game.
I’ll never say I’m the best coach, but I feel like I do a good job. I plan on volunteering some of my time to bring some of the players together in the off season to help develop their skill, sportsmanship, and love of the game. That’s the least I can do to try and be a good coach. It’s something I can do for my son and enjoy for myself. It’s something I can always be learning and improving myself, and it’s just a bonus that it involves a long time passion of mine – soccer.
Managing Conflict Jesus Style
November 14, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Recently I’ve experienced some conflict situations. As the leader in these particular instances I was reminded of how Jesus taught to manage conflict in Matthew 18. It will help us all to remember this lesson in the heat of our offended moments.
Conflicts will arise in any organization because humans are all wired differently and we will inevitably disagree. Jesus makes it clear that addressing conflict should be a priority for us.
John Maxwell (one of my heroes not far down the list from Jesus) outlines the basic steps to be followed when there is a conflict as follows:
1. Initiate the contact.
2. Confront the person in private.
3. If no resolution comes, meet again with one or two more people.
4. Confirm the facts in the meeting and work toward a solution.
5. If no resolution comes, bring the issue before the church or organization.
6. Agree upon the truth and the appropriate options for the offender.
7. If no resolution comes, release the offender from the church or organization.
We have to keep in mind that we must act wisely because God gives us authority in these situations, because he will confirm decisions made in harmony, and because he is present when we gather in his name.
This is a lesson I’ve certainly learned the hard way a few times and I haven’t handled every situation the best way possible – from either side of conflict. But I intend to think about this lesson more and more so that I will be better at managing conflict in the future.
Praying Mantis
November 10, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Ok, I’ve had some pretty serious posts, so I’m gonna lighten it up today with a little story about the Carolina Mantis. That is the SC state bug. Didn’t know that, but it is an interesting fact that SC has a unique species of the praying mantis. Here’s some info about it.
Shawna saw one of these in our garage and asked me to go get it. I had no idea what kind of bug it was or that it is actually a good bug to have around because it can’t hurt people (other than freaking us out) but it can eat lots of other bugs that infest your yard.
Ok, so I’m in the garage checking this thing out. This is the only type of bug there is that can actually turn its head and look at you with it’s big freaky eyes. I started poking at it with a shoe and it would kinda grab at it with his little arms. I should have taken a picture of this thing and video. Of course my redneck nature kicked in after this bug bowed up so I stomped it dead. Then I showed it to Devin cause he likes to do battle with bugs too. He thought it was cool, but he still has a little trouble remembering “praying mantis”. For some reason he says something like “Thai Mantis”, but we’re working on it.
It wasn’t til later that day that I looked it up on the internet and found tons of info. I guess I could have spared it’s life and just thrown it out in the yard, but if a bug is capable of doing this to a hummingbird I’m not sure I want to take a chance of it tasting my kids:
World’s Strongest Dad – CAN
November 4, 2006 by Leave a Comment
I don’t mean to be so sentimental lately, but I have to share this. You probably can’t relate to me if you don’t have kids, but this story made me cry like crazy. I thought it was made up til the undeniable clip at the end. You gotta check it out to know what I’m talking about.
NewSpring Volunteer Appreciation
October 26, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Words can’t describe what I experienced at NewSpring last night. The appreciation banquet for church volunteers was truly a blessing. There are over 1300 volunteers who have served well over 100,000 hours year to date thus making NewSpring more effective financially, not to mention the lives that are changed as a result of our efforts.
So NewSpring staff invited all 1300 of us to be appreciated. They literally clapped and cheered for us outside as we got out of our cars and approached the building. They served us a nice meal. Everyone socialized. The entire atrium was full of excitement and a warm sense of commonality. We all share the love of Jesus and the passionate vision of NewSpring to minister to people.
There were prizes and gifts, things that showed appreciation and generated excitement for everyone. Everyone was moved by the humble tears of Sherry Morehead, Director of Volunteers. She loves what she does and on a daily basis she helps people find a place to serve and keeps all the volunteer team leaders working like a well oiled machine. She is so dedicated and inspires us all the way she leads by example.
The band rocked! They always do. But a few weeks ago a volunteers were surveyed to find out what our favorite songs are. Lee (our worship leader) was surprised at some of the choices we made, but it was affirmation that NewSpring volunteers aren’t just focused on what is cool but on what glorifies God the most. The band led us in moving worship and prepared us for Perry’s message.
I had no idea this even was going to be so similar to a church service. But it was different. Perry delivered a message tailored for volunteers who rally in teamwork to make God’s dream work. He used the comparison of the Chicago Bulls going from a dream team to a losing team when key players were let go in the late 90’s. Without the key roles of NewSpring volunteers the work God is doing in Anderson, SC wouldn’t be possible. Perry is such an excellent communicator you would have to hear his message for yourself to understand how great it was.
The most emotional moments of the entire evening, at least for me, was watching the big screen video clips of people who’s lives are changed because of NewSpring volunteers. There was the lady who was in an accident causing her to be quadriplegic. NewSpring volunteers built a wheelchair ramp at her home that has changed her life. She can get out in case of emergency. She can get out and about independently. She started a support group for quadriplegics. She looked straight in to the camera with tears in her eyes and expressed sincere thanks to the guys who did something so simple that had such a big impact on her. Another family’s lives have been changed because we have special needs volunteers who can take care of their autistic daughter. Other churches have been forced to ask them not to come to their church because they didn’t have anyone to care for an autistic person. There is no shortage of stories telling the impact NewSpring volunteers make on peoples’ lives. But I never get tired of hearing them. Each and every testimony brings me to tears.
I thank God every day for his blessings and mercy. I ask him for wisdom and guidance. I ask him to just use me for his service and show me his will and purpose for my life. It is such a blessing to be ministered to the way NewSpring does it. I am always gaining wisdom and guidance through messages and experiences NewSpring delivers. God is using me in ways I never expected. I feel more and more in line with God’s purpose for my life all the time. Isn’t God amazing?
What’s For Dinner??
October 24, 2006 by Leave a Comment
My wonderful wife, so Godly, so loving, so beautiful, the love of my life, vivacious – vulnerable – scandalous (read a book – this means she is amazing), mother of my precious children, the domesticator of our home. Shawna strives to be excellent in so many ways, one of them being dinner preparation.
“What do you want for dinner” is a question I’m often asked, and that is probably the hardest question for me to answer decisively. I’m simply not that picky when it comes to choosing dinner. (I do have a problem with mayo, sour cream, and some cheeses, but other than that I’m not picky). Shawna wants to mix it up using fancy recipes with words I don’t understand at restaurants, much less at home. When I’m at a restaurant my menu choice depends on whether or not I’m in the mood for Chicken, Beef, or Seafood and whether or not I like whichever what-u-call-it sauce they’re putting on it (cause many sauces are too mayo based). So when Shawna asks me if I want the Chicken & Broccoli something something dish she makes I’m like that chick on Jerry McGuire except I’m saying “Shut up! (tears in my eyes) You had me at chicken.” (If you’re too young to remember that movie then you can probably stop reading this because you’re probably not old enough to be married either.)
To help Shawna simplify dinner planning I gave her a list of meals she has made for me and told her she can rotate that list around and never cook the same thing twice in the same month. (For those of you who think the list was 31 items long you need to take your family out to eat once in a while and you also need to take your wife out on a date more often.) Hopefully the list will keep things simple enough to avoid any more “What’s for dinner” conflicts.
So I’m writing about this for a couple of reasons. There are probably a lot of ladies out there who want to be good to their man with cooking but the idea of not doing good enough is holding you back. Or maybe there are just some guys who feel the same way I do and want to make their lady feel good about what she is doing no matter how simple it is. Men – keep it simple and be thankful your wife is cooking – help wash dishes and put the kids to bed. Ladies – don’t get too stressed about variety in the kitchen. Trust me if you take that creativity to another room in the house, if you know what I mean, he will care less what you cooked and he’ll be glad to help with dishes.
Self Promotion
October 20, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Since I’m talking about networking I’ll add some more tips I picked up from an author named Jeffrie Story. If you’re questioning my motive for posting these type of things it is simply to help people realize that they have to raise the image others have of you to be successful – it’s just a fact of life. Researchers have proven in study after study that self promotion is key to a persons success. So get over the uncomfortable feeling it can give you and start trying to understand why this type of stuff is important… Here’s the tips on being a natural at self-promotion:
1. Natural self-promoters constantly put themselves in the presence of people who can help them achieve their goals. They meet new people, set up informational interviews, attend networking events, join community groups, and mingle with coworkers and colleagues.
2. Some of the best self-promoters are those who make themselves stand out. They know what makes them different and special, and they use those unique qualities to make themselves distinctive and memorable.
3. Just as big companies build brand awareness by repeating the same logo, commercial, or jingle over and over, natural self-promoters know how to get inside the heads of their prospects. They make multiple calls and send multiple e-mails or letters to make an indelible impression on their targets’ minds.
First Impressions
October 19, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Hopefully you believe in the importance of first impressions and networking with people. I don’t stress first impressions as much as a lot of people do because I think it is important to just be who you are, but I still think following some general guidelines to convey a good first impression (whatever you want your first impression to be) can make a difference in whatever you’re doing. Since I have a sales job and I’m involved in a network marketing business (and I do networking for other interests as well) I take note when I have the opportunity to read something about how to network properly. So I took some tips from Michael Masterson on First Impressions. Here ya go:
1. Make yourself feel positive and allow that feeling to be reflected in the way you hold yourself.
2. Make eye contact. Always look the other person directly in the eye, even if only for a moment.
3. Be the first to smile. Let your smile, as well as your body language, show that you’re happy to see him.
4. Make your “Hi!” or “Hello!” sound sincerely welcoming.
5. Take the lead. Extend your hand first.
6. Shake his hand strongly. Shake it like you mean it. Remember, your handshake provides an instant message about you. Are you an important person? A friendly person? Someone who can be trusted? Answers to these questions – and more – can be conveyed by your handshake.
Ask a few trusted friends or colleagues to check out your handshake. Make sure the signals you are giving are those you intend. If they aren’t, make changes.
7. Lean toward him. An almost imperceptible forward tilt will very subtly indicate your interest in and openness to the other person.
Size Matters
October 14, 2006 by Leave a Comment
Ok, so I was talking to a group of my buddies last night and happened upon a subject where size definitely matters. We were trying to agree on a time when we could all get together to hang out. We’re still not sure exactly what exactly we’re going see, but it sounds like we’re going to have a lot of fun. We did decide on one thing – it can’t be at my house because my stuff is too small. One of the guys has us all beat for the largest home entertainment system, so we’re going to have our movie night at his house….
What the heck did you think I was talking about?