Why I’m Happy For Toby Mac

September 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

In case you haven’t heard the awesome news, Toby Mac just topped the billboard charts with his latest album – Eye On It .   Although I don’t agree with how the media seems to be a little snide in their article about it, I do agree it is something that isn’t happening often and is worth getting special attention.

I happen to love Toby Mac music.  It’s great music – the beats, the melody, and most of all – the lyrics that I don’t have to worry about my kids hearing.  Seriously why do so many songs that sound great need to have ridiculously inappropriate lyrics?  Why can’t they put the bad lyrics on those songs that have terrible melodies too?

Anyway – the reason I’m happy for Toby Mac for this accomplishment is because I can only imagine how hard he has had to work as a Christian artist in our culture to reach such a level of success.  The top of the charts are often reserved for whatever freak show wrote the most recent catchy melody with scandalous lyrics about sex, drugs, or money.

Don’t get me wrong – I like the catchy melodies too – despite the lyrics.  As Christians we should get excited about the talent of other Christians more often instead of always just being so focused on whatever our broken culture is idolizing at any given moment.  For once they’ve recognized someone who actually makes good music and has a good message, so I’m proud and happy for Toby Mac.

Check out the album –Eye On It .

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Misc

Earning The Right To Celebrate Success

June 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment

My kids recently reminded me, once again, of a principle even many adults need to learn. It is the fact that unless we did something to contribute to something that is a success then we really don’t have the right to celebrate it as though we were a part of it.

Sports fans are my favorite example of this. I’ve always been a bigger fan of actually PLAYING sports as opposed to watching, so I’m not a rabid fan. But some people go nuts over sports teams they merely cheer for. Statements like “we won last night” are my favorite because to me it sounds like the person saying “we” actually competed at something. When I find out they were watching something on TV I’m let down about this person’s participation in a competitive event.

Ok, so maybe cheering could be very loosely accepted as participation or contribution to a success, but it’s nowhere near the same as those who actually get in the game. I recently taught my kids this lesson about giving.

They attended VBS (vacation Bible school) at a local church where there was a competition between grades to see who could raise the most money to give to a worthy cause. Our competitive child (I will not name) came home boasting of how awesome their grade was doing winning the competition. Shawna and I knew they had not given anything to this effort other than cheers. Normally we would have given them money to contribute but in this scenario we immediately recognized a teaching opportunity.

We explained to both our older two kids that unless they gave they really couldn’t celebrate winning as though they did something. We also encouraged them to give from their money (they earn money for doing work around the house), but we did not give them our money to simply pass it on. They needed to have skin in the game.

The end of VBS event took place and at the end our kids grade was awarded for giving the most. On the way home the boasting commenced again “we won, we beat the older kids”, and we questioned again, “Did you give anything?” Of course the answer was “no, we forgot” which I interpreted as “what, from OUR money”. We reminded the kids that unless they actually gave something they really didn’t earn the right to celebrate the success as though they did give something. They could cheer for their classmates but they couldn’t really say “we won”.

I see the same thing happening all the time with adults at churches. Great things are happening, all the signs of church success are there, people are being reached for Jesus. When the pastor reminds everyone that all that success is possible because of generous givers there are people in the crowd who celebrate that success as though they actually did something, as though they had skin in the game.

I have no apologies for issuing a tough love challenge to believers who are not givers. Anybody can sit in the stands and cheer. Put some skin in the game.

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money

Your Treasure and Your Heart

February 24, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This isn’t about convincing you to give to your church. It’s not a guilt trip or a “prosperity message”. I’m not one of those guys who says “I want something FOR you not FROM you” with a smile on my face and an offering plate in my hand. For the record I fully believe in God’s design for us to be generous and his faithfulness to provide for our needs, and I happen to love churches that aren’t afraid to teach the truth from the word on the subject. Heck, I even get to speak about it myself as part of the I Was Broke. now I’m Not. team. But that isn’t what this post is about. I want to put all that completely out of your mind right now.

What I want you to think about is how Matthew 6:21 can relate to your marriage just as it does your faith and belief in God. I’ve written on this site about working together on the finances as a couple, planning together, saving together, spending together. I’ve written about communicating and valuing the marriage covenant more than the money situation. I know it is all a lot easier said than done so I want to challenge us all with Matthew 6:21 – “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”.

Most times we hear that verse in a message meant to challenge us to be generous in giving back to the church, and we SHOULD do that. But are you being generous with your spouse? Are you cooperating with the plan and sticking to it? Are you compromising and sacrificing some things you want to do financially in order to allow your spouse to do some things they want to do? Are you investing time and money in dating?

In church we hear statements like “If we looked in your checkbook it would show us where your heart is”. That’s a true statement and I hope we would see your heart for God, I do. But would we also see your heart for your spouse?

Filed Under: Faith, Money, Relationships

Why Compare?

January 31, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Have you ever heard anyone making these statements?

  • I work as hard as anyone I know.
  • I’m as good a husband/wife as anyone I know.
  • I’m as good a father/mother as anyone I know.
  • I go to church and serve as much as anyone I know.

Do you ever catch YOURSELF making such statements?  Not out loud, I hope, but  maybe in your head.  It can be so easy to compare ourselves to everyone else around us, focusing on how we compare to others in order to justify how good we are, at least in our own mind.

I know – things are tough at work, the pressure is on, so that’s why “I work as hard as anyone I know” becomes an inner-defense.  I know – your spouse was nagging about an expectation you’re not meeting so “I’m as good a husband/wife as anyone I know” is what you somehow want to make them realize.  Kids are so naive and don’t understand just how good a parent you are.  Surely the church staff sees how much you’re there contributing to the ministry and should thank you from stage at special events.

My challenge to all of us today is why compare?  Why look at how our performance compares to that of others?  How does that help us be the best spouse or parent we can be?  How does that help us become closer to God and live out his purpose for our life?

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Personal Growth, Relationships

Thanksgiving 2011

November 22, 2011 by 1 Comment

Other than the most important thanks I give every year for God’s mercy, My Wife, Family, Friends, Health, and Wealth, here are some particular financial-related things I’m thankful for this this year at Thanksgiving:

  • We got debt free this year (except for the house)
  • Savings in the bank
  • Promise – that God will provide
What do you have to be thankful for?
Filed Under: Faith, Family, Health, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships

Gabby Giffords & Mark Kelly

November 15, 2011 by 1 Comment

The story of the miraculous recovery of congress woman Gabrielle Giffords was told last night on TV. January 8, 2011 she was shot in the head with little chance of surviving but she is once again full of life.  The story fascinates me not only because of the miraculous recovery but because of the relationship between her and her husband Mark Kelly. Truly amazing.

Here are the things that stood out most to me as I watched the story:

Faith – Mark videod the recovery because he expected it was going to happen.

Failure is not an option – Mark set goals for Gabby to challenge her natural drive and he was there every step of the way.  He told her things like “You have not been beaten, you’ve just been beat up.”

Positive attitude – Mark put up a sign outside the room telling everyone “no crying” and another one to himself to remind him to take a deep breath and stay focused before he entered the room.

Unity – Mark was united with Gabby’s mother and they shared their hope and all the efforts toward recovery.

The sky is not the limit.  Mark is an astronaut and that is one of their mottos.  Both Mark and Gabby are aiming for what seems like impossible goals. We just have to believe it’s possible.

Tough as nails.  When asked to describe Mark the words Gabby used were “tough as nails”.  He feels the same about her.  Their love for each other is sp obvious and strong, tough as nails…  We all can be inspired and encouraged by their story and example of how marriage should bedding better or worse.

 

 

Filed Under: Faith, Personal Growth, Relationships

Get Help Now!

September 8, 2011 by 1 Comment

One of many trends we notice about financial coaching is people are requesting appointments but then either not showing up, postponing over and over, or canceling completely. A year or so later they come back desperate for help but they’ve waited until it’s TOO LATE!

Shawna and I were talking about this dilemma and recalled that we were on our very last straw when we finally got help.  But the difference was we didn’t know how or where help was even available.  Our church, NewSpring, had not even started their personal finance ministry when we were hitting rock bottom.  Joe Sangl had just been hired there but we didn’t even know about him or what he was going to be doing.  It was God’s timing that NewSpring started a personal finance ministry and Joe showed up right after we hit rock bottom.

There are tons of people who are learning about personal finance ministry for the first time right before or after they are hitting rock bottom. THOSE ARE NOT THE PEOPLE I’M TALKING ABOUT! The people I’m talking about are people who have known that there are resources (books, classes, one on one coaching) available and they’re choosing not to take advantage of them or reach out for help in any way until it is way too late.

The Underlying Reasons For Not Getting Help:

There are lots of excuses for not getting help, but they mostly lead to one of the following underlying issues.

Pride

Whether broke or wealthy pride prevents people from getting a coaches advice because people are either unwilling to be transparent about the true situation or they’re too arrogant to take advice from anyone.  Either way it is unhealthy pride.

Heart

Some are putting off getting coaching because their heart just isn’t right about money yet.  They haven’t surrendered to the fact that God owns it all, we are just managers, and we have to honor God with how we use what he’s given us to manage.  They’re proving that their money follows their heart as the choose bad financial behavior over Godly discipline.

Trust

This is so rare most probably don’t know what I mean.  Believe it or not there are some who have legitimate concerns about trusting volunteer coaches.  BUT, before anyone runs to this conclusion they should seriously wrestle with these questions.

  • What evidence is there that the coaches can’t be trusted?
  • Have the concerns been discussed with the church leadership?
  • Has financial advice been sought elsewhere?

If there is no good answer to those three questions I would have to argue that pride or heart is the real issue.

If you or anyone you know have been putting off getting needed help please don’t put it off any longer.  There’s not much a coach can do to help when the mountain of debt is out of control and the house is already in foreclosure.  Don’t wait until it’s too late.  Get help now!

Filed Under: Faith, Money Tagged With:

Marriage Quote – Two Being One

August 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here is a really good excerpt from a post written by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Rhett Smith that is worth taking a minute to read.

“Too many spouses are sitting around waiting and expecting for their spouse to meet and fulfill every need. Sure, our partner has a role to play and there is a mutual interdependency that occurs. But ultimately, as Christians our marriage and our sense of self is dependent upon God, and not on others. We must learn to take responsibility for our own selves in marriage and not wait for our partner to meet every need. A truly healthy marriage is two people in a relationship taking responsibility for themselves in order that they are better able to be in a position to respond to their spouses.  

So ultimately, we live a great love story when our life is anchored and dependent in Christ, not solely dependent on others for our wants and needs. And when we are in the position of dependency upon Christ, then we are truly freed to respond out of a place of love and trust in a relationship of mutuality and reciprocity with our spouses. (Ephesians 5:21).”

Wow – that is good stuff.

Filed Under: Faith, Relationships

Sick And Tired Of The Debt Debate

August 5, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the debt debate?  I mean how hard is it to understand INCOME minus OUTGO has to equal EXACTLY ZERO and the outgo needs to include generous programs, long term foresight, and paying down the debt…  Is it that difficult?

You might think I’m talking about the US National Debt Debate that has been plastered all over the media off and on really for many years.  It’s always a heated debate.  But that isn’t the only debate I’m talking about.  I’m talking about the debt debate that happens in most everyone’s household at some point.  Should we finance this or that?  Can we afford it?  How can we do x, y, & z and still keep our budget balanced?  Are we going to have the discipline to stick to this budget?  Oh no, we’ve gotten in too deep, now what do we do?  I’m sick and tired of families struggling with these questions.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

The fights happening in American households about money are just like Democrats and Republicans fighting about who’s fault it is and why one plan is better than the other for dealing with it.  Round and round it goes and nothing gets done about it until it’s too late.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

Call me crazy but I believe at some point the US debt ceiling is going to be as high as our country can withstand.  My family has experienced a maxed out debt ceiling first hand – when we hit it we almost lost everything.  Why don’t our representatives understand that concept?  I know it’s more complicated on the grander scale but the principles are the same.  Why isn’t our government applying simple financial principles and why aren’t more American families understanding these principles and applying them personally?  IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!

Why isn’t government listening to the people’s concern for our country’s financial future?  Why aren’t people reaching out for help with their personal finances?  That question keeps me awake at night because I know so many people need help but don’t know how to get it or they aren’t willing to ask for it.  My church offers FREE personal finance coaching and the I Was Broke. Now I’m Not. team has helped churches all over the country start coaching programs just like the one at my church.  Contact me if you’re interested in connecting with a coach and I’ll do everything I can to help you do that.  Maybe, JUST MAYBE, if we all start getting it right at home our government will find a way to get it right nationally.  Until that happens I will remain sick and tired of the debt debate.

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships

Part 4: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 4, 2011 by 1 Comment

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom.  If you missed the first three parts you can read them here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

How did having kids affect things?

We wanted kids.  We were so glad to have kids.  It did change everything though.  The biggest change was being involved in all the activities you kids participated in.  But it also strengthened our marriage because there was a greater love than just the two of us.  We HAD to work together just to keep up.  

Would you do it all over again?

We would do it all over again but just do some things differently.  There would be more emphasis on family and our marriage instead of so much emphasis on the church.  Wish we had made better long range plans.  Wish we had used vacation for fun instead of visiting family.  We’ve been blessed and we’re thankful.  In order to make it to 50 yrs we’re gonna take better care of our health and take it one day at a time.  But we don’t live with any regrets and would do it all again.

Sometimes I wonder if the difficulty of having kids is just us or our generation.  So it’s a little reassuring to know that even for our parents having kids was a challenge.  I like John Maxwell’s quote that having grandchildren is the reward for not killing your children.  My parents probably agree with that completely.  Having kids is definitely a blessing we are very thankful for and I pray all the time that I become a better dad.

My parents gave Shawna and me a huge compliment about doing a good job balancing family, work, and church involvement.  That is something we struggle with from time to time in order to keep on track.  We’re making plans for our next family vacation and it gives us something to look forward to through the day to day hustle.

Shawna and I have only been married almost 11 years and we agree with my parents comment after their 40 years about doing it all again but doing some things differently.  We’ve all made mistakes we would take back but I when I’m older I want to be able to say I don’t have any regrets.  I believe that comes from having peace that God is guiding our lives along a path and everything is happening for a reason.

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships, Stories
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