Faith - Mark Asbell

Part 3: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 3, 2011 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom. If you missed it you can click here to read Part 1 or click here to read Part 2.

What have you done for fun through the years?

We’ve always been heavily involved in church activities (understatement of the century). We didn’t really call it date night like y’all do now days, but when we were younger we would go out to eat and go to drag racing or rodeo or ball games or Gospel singing events – that was way back when the Gaithers were just a trio. Now days for date night we tend to just go out to eat and take a drive and just enjoy being together. (I will add that my parents take some pretty nice trips as rewards through my dad’s job as an insurance agent).

What have been your hopes and dreams?

We’ve always wanted to do the best we could for you kids and we’ve always wanted to serve other people – living our lives to serve others rather than ourselves.

Dad: When we were pastors we thought success was when I got to pastor without having a 2nd job to support the family.

Mom: As we got older we reached for dreams like having a bigger property with a garden and getting to travel. We were only able to afford that stuff after dad started working in business world.

Now you know how old my parents are – I mean anyone who knew when the Gaithers were just a trio… If you don’t even know who the Gaithers are just look it up on Google – search images, that’s all you need to know. My parents are very country too in case you couldn’t tell from the drag racing and rodeo. That does remind me of our years in a small town called Forest Hill, LA where we went to the dirt track races every Friday night…

I’m glad to know my parents have fun together and have hopes and dreams. It is ashamed that church people treat pastors in such a way that they leave the ministry all the time. My parents still serve in their local church, just not as pastor. Every time I think of my parents deciding to no longer pastor churches I think of how tough a decision that must have been for them because of their heart for ministry. But at the same time I think of how thankful I am that they made such a tough decision because for all we know that is what kept them together and kept our family together.

My dad plants his garden every year and they get to travel to places Shawna and I hope to go to someday. I’d say they’ve set a pretty good example for putting their marriage, hopes, and dreams in proper priority.

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships, Stories

Part 2: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 2, 2011 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

For my parents 40th wedding anniversary I did a little interview and I’m sharing their wisdom. If you missed it you can click here to read Part 1.

How did you make it 40 years? What advice do you have for us youngsters?

It’s important to always think back on what brought us together to start with and having a determination to never give up on that. Commitment is taken too lightly now days. People think oh well we can just get a divorce if this doesn’t work out. Divorce was never an option for us. Our parents were married 61 & 57 years so we had a good example of commitment. Our faith strengthened our commitment. It has taken a lot of work – seminars at church, better communication, understanding and appreciating each other.

Did you ever get counseling?

No we never did but there were times we should have.

I am so blessed to have such great examples of commitment in my parents and grandparents. Both sets of my grandparents were together until death did them part. I pray that for my marriage too.

It REALLY frustrates me to hear some of the reasons people get divorced. I can’t claim to understand every situation but I can say I don’t agree with the outcome most of the time. Recently I was beating my head against the wall trying to understand why people get divorced and how to help them stay together instead. I know it sounds cliche but a pastor friend of mine reminded me that divorce is a result of Jesus not being the center and focus of relationships. Simplifying it all – that is true. But it doesn’t give me peace about it at all.

I’m committed to my marriage. I fight for my marriage. We have tough conversations. We read books and go through curriculum in small groups or seminars. We ask for advice or counseling when we need it. And we’ll do all that stuff again and again because staying committed in marriage takes work.

The next post is about fun, hopes, and dreams. Be sure to check back.

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships, Stories

Part 1: My Parent’s 40th Anniversary

August 1, 2011 by Mark Asbell 3 Comments

This year my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and I’ve been wanting to write about them for several months. There is a lot we can all learn by talking to our parents and using the wisdom they’ve gained through years of experience, or the wisdom they haven’t gained 🙂 It’s important to have discernment of what advice to take or leave when talking to anyone. My hope for everyone is you have someone like my parents to gain some encouraging wisdom from.

So I basically did a little interview with my parents, something I’ve never really done quite like this, to pick their brain a little at their 40 year mark. In this series of posts I want to share some of the questions I asked and some of the takeaways and insight from the conversation.

What does it feel like to be married 40 years?

Mom: It doesn’t really seem possible that it’s been that long. It feels good just to have survived this long. (She didn’t mean as in they haven’t killed each other, she meant it’s good to be alive at their age – which isn’t as old as they act sometimes 🙂 ).

Dad: Well, dad was actually still asleep in his chair when I asked the first question (being an old fart) so mom answered for him by saying, “Best years of his life!” (There’s a bit of the humor in this relationship coming out.)

Has it always been a fairytale?

(I asked this because so many young couples are shocked and confused when the ‘fairytale’ wears off)

Mom: It was like any newlyweds – a dream come true. But there weren’t any Disney princess movies back then. We’ve always had reasons to stay grounded. We had to work hard. We never had anything given to us. Our first house was a very old owner financed single wide trailer. 100% financing through banks wasn’t very likely back then if it even existed and getting family to co-sign wasn’t an option for us.

Dad: Back then not so many people lived together before getting married. Times were different. Gas was .19 per gallon and beef was .49 per pound.

That’s a good point about living together and times were different but I’m not sure what that had to do with the question. Oh, he just woke up! Must have been having nightmares about current inflated pricing…

I love the comment my mom made about there not being any Disney princess movies back then. Now days so many young couples are growing up with the crazy notion that they’re going to be swept off their feet and live happily ever after. Then when reality hits and their spouse shows imperfection they’re shocked and don’t know what to do. Why do we spend so much time dreaming the impossible and never spending time considering a more likely reality?

Stay tuned for more from my parents…

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Personal Growth, Relationships, Stories

Mark & Shawna Asbell Are Officially Debt Free!

July 22, 2011 by Mark Asbell 10 Comments

As of today Shawna and I are officially debt free except for our house. We have a really hard time putting into words how we feel about it. For the past few years I’ve practiced my “woohoo” yell for when I got debt free. I’ve even practiced it in front of thousands of people that I’ve spoken to for I Was Broke. Now I’m Not.

Maybe because I know there is still work to do (kill the house payment, continue to be wise with savings/investing) I haven’t really felt the ‘woohoo’ moment yet. Maybe I practiced my yell so much it lost it’s appeal to me. Maybe the reality of being debt free hasn’t really hit me yet… I don’t know what it is, but for some reason all I keep doing is taking a deep breath and going “ahhhhhh”.

Getting debt free is not something we could have done alone. We thank God every day for blessing us. I thank my friend Joe Sangl all the time. We’re thankful to NewSpring church and Perry Noble for offering personal finance teaching and discipleship – that’s how our journey out of financial trouble started. Here is a video NewSpring did earlier this year about mine and Shawna’s story: A Debt of Gratitude . Maybe my ‘woohoo’ will come out at the party…

The list could go on and on of friends and family who have encouraged us along the way, but there are two couples in particular that I tear-up just thinking about. The couple who was there for us when we didn’t know what to do, and the couple who helped us bridge the financial gap when we were about to lose our house. They know who they are and we’re forever grateful.

I’m going to write a lot more about the journey on here and share tips we’ve learned along the way. Thank you for reading and sharing our moment of excitement. If you hear loud screaming in the distance it might be the ‘woohoo’ finally blasting out of me.

Filed Under: Faith, Money, Relationships Tagged With: shawna

Music About Money

July 6, 2011 by Mark Asbell 2 Comments

There seems to be a negative attitude from some people about churches addressing the subject of money and possessions (the love of money and the stuff it buys). So many people think all the church wants is their money. I hear them make statements like “that church is all about money” or “all they talk about is money”. That might be true at some churches. But the fact of the matter is Jesus himself talked about money or possessions more than any other subject because he knows that money and stuff is the biggest competitor for our hearts.

My question about this is if we don’t think the church should talk about money and possessions then why are we ok with popular music that is about money and possessions? Think about that. If we don’t want to hear the church talk about money or possessions (materialism) then why do we care:

that Travie McCoy wants to be a billionaire.
that Nickelback wants all the stuff listed in the song “Rockstar“.
that Beyonce’s put all her boyfriends stuff in a box to the left, to the left. (why’s it gotta be about his stuff)
that Carrie Underwood tore up her cheating boyfriends truck. (what if he didn’t care about the truck)
that Puff Daddy/Notorious BIG/Mase said the mo money they come across the mo problems they see.

Those are just a few that came to mind. That list could go on and on forever though because if you really think about the lyrics of a lot of the music we listen to they are singing about money or possessions and much of it is from a materialistic and irresponsible point of view. If everyone is ok with that then why does the church get so much flack for teaching wise financial principles about how to be unselfish and disciplined – the wisdom that really helps people achieve prosperity rather than just singing about it.

What are some songs you can think of that have lyrics related to money?

Filed Under: Faith, Money

Three Life Values I Learned From Dad

June 19, 2011 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

It’s Father’s Day, so there is no better time for me to write about my dad. He’s quite a character I tell you. His sense of humor is pretty much one of a kind, and he makes a great subject of humor as well. But I’ll save some of that for later. Today I thought I’d share three of the life values I’m glad to have learned from my dad.

Work Ethic

My dad has always been a very hard worker. When I was young he was not only a pastor but he also worked on cars to help make ends meet, and he still works hard. He passed that work ethic on to me and my siblings. When we were kids we had to do chores – REAL chores (unlike kids now). To this day my siblings and I are all doing more than one thing to work whether we really need to for money or not. I believe it’s part of who we are.

Service to others

Obviously since my dad was formerly a pastor he is a person with a servants heart. He will do anything he can to help someone who needs a hand and not expect anything in return. Even though he quit pastoring churches long ago he still serves in ministry every week at his local church because he believes in serving people as Christ served. It has been difficult for me at times to embrace the servants heart that is engrained in me from my dad because of the negative things that happen to preachers’ families. No matter how much I’ve tried at times to AVOID serving others I seem to always find myself doing what dad would do – serving others in some way whether it’s in business or in ministry and whether it’s paid or volunteer.

Dedication

Dad set an example for us of dedication to:

God – I’ve never had to worry whether or not my dad is wavering in his faith.
Marriage – I’ve never had to worry whether or not dad was going to leave mom.
Family – Dad and mom set an example for our entire family to be very loyal to the family even when we don’t agree.
Church – I can tell you where dad is every Sunday morning.
Personal Responsibility – Though my dad is far from perfect I’m confident he does what he thinks is right and when he makes a mistake he does what he can to make it right.

What quality values can you attribute to the influence of your dad?

Happy Fathers Day!

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Relationships

Lesson From the Biggest Loser About Saying No

March 29, 2011 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

Shawna and I like to watch the Biggest Loser. It has something to do with life change and we all somewhere inside want to be healthier people no matter what our weight. I heard an interesting comment on the show the other week that caught my attention.

One of the contestants said something like “Saying no to junk food is saying yes to myself” and they were referring to the positive health benefit. It struck me as a very strong statement. Think about that for a minute and consider all the things we could put in that sentence in the place of junk food.

Saying no to the brand new car, or house, or boat, or whatever THING is saying yes to my future financial position.
Saying no to watching 4 hours of TV per night is saying yes to more quality family time.
Saying no to porn or facebook is saying yes to relationship with spouse.
Saying no to “me time” is saying yes to having time for God.

Anything you put in the place of the no and yes position is ultimately a benefit to you. It is a discipline issue.

What other ways can you think of to make a no a yes for our own good?

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Health, Money, Personal Growth, Relationships

Where’s The Adventure?

December 13, 2010 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

In going to work every day to earn enough money to pay the mortgage, insurance, dance lessons, cub scouts, and cell phone bill?

In being spoon-fed your whole life, never knowing what it is like to wonder how you will pay for your next meal?

In going to the beach every year for your 1 or 2 weeks off from the job you’ve had for years?

In never seeing new places or experiencing new things?

In living life alone, without a spouse or family or friends to share life with?

In living life without God, depending on him for our every need, spreading his gospel every chance we get?

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Money, Personal Growth

Devin Got Baptized – Baptism May 23, 2010 11:15am

June 14, 2010 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Stories

Catalyst 2008

October 16, 2008 by Mark Asbell Leave a Comment

Last week I had the opportunity to go to this conference. It was excellent – there is no other word for it. Here are some quick highlights:

The biggest floam ball you’ve ever seen. 12,000 people were there, everyone had a piece of floam. Put them all together and it had to be the largest ball of floam ever formed.
One of the MC’s, Lanny Donoho, was crazy. At different times throughout the event he did lots of crazy stuff, including bringing in a pig, a donkey, an elephant, a bus, and he did a hilarious video with Jeff Foxworthy.
Jeff Foxworthy was there talking about ministry he’s been a part of – thought that was really cool.
They had a group of those guys who do slam dunks off the trampolene and they did high-flying dunks to raise $10,000 for Hoops of Hope.

Filed Under: Business, Faith, Personal Growth