New Year’s Fitness Goal

In Ephesians 5 wives are commanded to respect their husbands and husbands are commanded to love their wives…. as their own bodies… as he loves himself.  What does loving as yourself, as your own body, really look like in today’s culture?

There is a common corny joke about anytime two guys are in the woods and see a bear they don’t have to out-run the bear, they just have to outrun their friend.  If it was a man and his wife the man should run WITH his wife, loving her survival as much as his own.  That’s why it always happens that way in action movies too.

Another way husbands should look at the “as you love yourself” is to actually TAKE CARE of yourself – as in exercise, maintain some level of health.  Loving our wives “as ourselves” isn’t saying much if we’re not taking care of ourself.

I feel like I’m in this boat right now.  I ate A LOT over the holidays, didn’t exercise for the past couple of months, and put on probably 15 lbs.  It’s time to get back in a healthy routine.  Does this sound like a new years resolution?  Whatever you want to call it.  I’ve gotta get re-focused on my health.

Men, every time we feel like being lazy and not exercising to take care of ourself we should think of it as loving our wife less because we’re loving ourself less.

My goal for this year is to lose 25 lbs and keep it off through the holidays.  What is your fitness goal for 2012?

 

Top Posts of 2011

Judging from all the blogs I follow, apparently the thing to do near the end of December is list the top posts for the whole year.  I didn’t start back to blogging until April, and didn’t do it very regularly, so this list might seem like half of what I’ve actually posted for the year.  Oh well, here it is – the top 10 posts of 2011:

  1. Mobile Phone Privilege – I’m pretty sure Zack Morris made this one so popular, but I like to think it’s the fact that mobile phones are a privilege not a necessity.  I’m a little disappointed that this one wasn’t closer to the bottom of the list.
  2. Mark & Shawna Asbell Are Officially Debt Free – This is the most exciting thing that happened to us all year, a major milestone in our lives.  I still can’t hardly believe it and I’m so grateful for it.  I’m selfishly a little disappointed that this one wasn’t at the top of the list.  EVERYONE should be so excited for us and want to read about it  🙂
  3. “No” Is Easy When “Nothing” Is There – It’s no less difficult saying no when there is money in the bank than it is when there is NO money in the bank.
  4. Get Help Now – Stop putting off getting help because of your pride, heart issue, or lack of trust.  Get Help Now!
  5. My Parents’ 40th Anniversary (series) – My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this year and I wrote a little series to honor them and their example.
  6. Boomerangers (series) – This 2-part series addresses a concern many families are facing these days.  What do you do when your grown children move back home?
  7. Daddy’s Barber Shop – One of the little ways I’m frugal and ever little bit adds up to a lot over time.
  8. Kyle Got Married – My brother-in-law got married and I reflected on some important words of wisdom from my wedding day.
  9. One Major Step Closer To Divorce – A pretty strong case for why couples shouldn’t have separate finances.
  10. Intentional Relationship – We have to be intentional about our relationship or it will “unintentionally” fall apart.
It’s been a great year and I can’t wait to see what this list looks like at the end of 2012.

Happy New Year!

You Should Be Listening To…

Life is good.  You’re so blessed, more than you deserve.  The two of you CAN work together.  If you hadn’t married them you wouldn’t get to experience the power of working together to accomplish your goals and dreams TOGETHER.  You two do such a great job communicating about money and caring for each others wants and needs as much as your own.  

You must be so happy and proud to have such a great spouse.  Who cares what your family and friends think.  They’re not the ones committed to being with you for richer or poorer.  Any decision you make isn’t going to affect them nearly as badly as it will affect you, so you’re wisely choosing to make your relationship work.  

Work hard now to get your financial relationship in order so you can enjoy the rest of your life together.  It’s completely worth the effort and sacrifice.

…the voice of hope and encouragement. 

Are You Listening To…

This sucks.  You’re broke.  You can’t do anything fun.  It’s all their fault.  If you hadn’t married them you’d have plenty of money to do whatever you want.  You two haven’t even talked about money for months because all they ever care about is what they want.  Who do they think they are?  You work just as hard as they do.  

You should just leave.  Who cares what your family or friends think.  You deserve to be happy.  Don’t even worry about how it affects anyone else – they’ll get over it.  It isn’t going to affect them nearly as badly as it’s affecting you.  Get out now while you still have some time to enjoy your life.  

…the voice in your head?

Do I Use Credit Cards Now?

One question I get asked a lot is do I use credit cards now that we’ve changed our financial ways.  It’s a good question in the context of “we were broke and credit cards screwed us…but having credit cards isn’t always a bad thing for everyone…”

It’s a fair question.  Some are curious to know if I am of the Dave Ramsey mentality about credit cards or if I’m ok with them.  Others want to justify their “manageable” balance.  The bottom line is I’m perfectly fine with couples who say they’re comfortable carrying a balance on their credit card, as long as they plan on carrying it for only about 25 days before paying it off.  I don’t agree with Dave that credit cards are an absolutely don’t do, but I do have Dave’s attitude about carrying a balance – it’s stupid.

Personally – Shawna and I even to this day don’t have credit cards.  First of all, we still use cash for our discretionary categories because that is the most surefire way to keep overspending under control (you can’t overspend cash).  Second, we have not seen a credit card rewards program that is any better than our checking account rewards at Perkstreet.  (Cash rewards are my favorite.)

So my answer for people when they ask about credit cards is “If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t use them.”  But for those who are still attached to the rewards and they’re already really good at controlling their spending and paying it off every month – I’m ok with that… as long as they’re being real about it and truly living according to a plan.

Dancing to Someone Else’s Tune

 As we strive to reach our goals and dreams we sometimes think as we increase our financial status or level of leadership that we will somehow become less dependent on what others want us to do.  That might be true to an extent, but I believe often times we get this false perception that we will somehow have more control of everything around us than we really do.

For whatever reason Shawna and I love lawyer shows.  We used to watch The Practice religiously.  Now we watch The Good Wife with the same consistency (the crazy thing is the title of the show should be “The Worst Marriage Ever” because the Good Wife’s husband cheated, they separated, and she is in and out of an affair with her boss).  Anyway, in one scene of the show a “partner” at the law firm, Will, made this statement, “It seems no matter how high we go we’re still dancing to someone else’s tune.”

Isn’t that true?  When we’re working a job we’re dancing to the bosses tune.  When we own a business we’re dancing to the customers tune.  Even if we have a ton of money in the bank or investments we’re dancing to the tune of whatever is going on in the economy or government.

I believe no matter how much confidence and control of our life we gain we will still to some degree be dancing to someone else’s tune to maintain what little control we actually have. Ultimately we have to learn that God is the one in control.

Do you ever feel like you’ll always be dancing to someone else’s tune?

Took A Break

If you check this blog often I’m sorry it’s been a couple of weeks, and thank you for coming back.  I took some much needed time off, from everything.  Shawna and I got away for some relaxation, and we spent some time with family for Thanksgiving.  It seems we got to have more meaningful conversations in one week than we’ve probably had all year.  I’m so blessed to have a loving and supportive wife.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving too.  We all can benefit from taking a break every now and then.  It helps us re-energize and refocus.  There is a great statement my friend Joe learned from one of the great church leaders out there, whose name I don’t recall at the moment, and Joe reminds me of it often.  “A change of place and change of pace brings a change of perspective.”  I hope the posts to come add value to you and reflect how much I care about your success both financially and relationally.

Thanksgiving 2011

Other than the most important thanks I give every year for God’s mercy, My Wife, Family, Friends, Health, and Wealth, here are some particular financial-related things I’m thankful for this this year at Thanksgiving:

  • We got debt free this year (except for the house)
  • Savings in the bank
  • Promise – that God will provide
What do you have to be thankful for?

Holiday LAYAWAY

Credit card.  Owner finance.  Debt.  Broke.  Run!  These are all the first thoughts that came to my mind when I recently saw an ad promoting layaway at a major retail chain.

It seems it has been a long time since retailers have done a layaway push.  They either haven’t been promoting it or it is a retro service they are bringing back.  Either way the ads remind me of the bike I bought using layaway when I was like 13, and the Nintendo our family bought using layaway when I was like 10.

Of all the terms that came to my mind when I saw that ad “owner finance” is probably the most accurate one because layaway is making payments on something the owner might take back if you stop making payments and you’re out the money you’ve paid, just like an owner financed house or car.

There is a better alternative. It’s called the KNOWN UPCOMING EXPENSES CALCULATOR.  It helps you plan how much to save for Christmas all year long and then pay for stuff without borrowing time or money when Christms arrives.  It might be helpful to start using this tool now so that next Christmas layaway can go back out of style.

Savers Are Nerdy

Since I wrote that spenders are messy it is only fair that I pick on savers too.  This is part of having FUN managing money TOGETHER – recognizing the funny things about each others differences and not taking everything so seriously.

But seriously 🙂 , Savers Are Nerdy.  Think about it and you have to agree.  Keep in mind I am a saver, but I’m not as nerdy as some thanks only to the influence of my lovely wife.  Here is a list of 10 things to support my statement that savers are nerdy.

Savers are Nerdy because:

  1. They are good at math, some even love math.
  2. They enjoy working on spreadsheets.
  3. They are likely engineers or have done an engineer type of job.
  4. Their clothes are out of date by 5 years.
  5. They prefer PC over Mac (partly because they’re a third of the cost of Mac).
  6. They know their bank balances, as in they know them at all times.
  7. They know the exact amount of every household bill every month.
  8. They say “That’s not in the budget” no matter how uncool it is in any moment.
  9. They would eat cold rice and beans at home alone in the dark every night to save.
  10. They flip they junk when spenders misbehave.  (terminology courtesy of a friend on UrbanDictionary.com – flip your junk)
I am a recovering saver.  My wife is a recovering spender.  Compromise and working together is a beautiful thing.  Every time Shawna and I are playfully picking on each other about our quirky differences she tells me “you’d miss it if I was gone”.  Kinda doom and gloom – right.  But funny nonetheless.  Well spenders let me tell you something about us savers’ quirks – “you’d miss having money if we were gone”.  Ok, that’s not very funny.  Number 11 reason savers are nerdy – we’re not very funny.